Reporting a pregnancy in the Ndebele customary way
IN the olden days young people in the Ndebele communities of Zimbabwe observed a standard safe sex practice known as ukuhlobonga/ ukuphelela emathangazini (intercrural sex/ coitus interfemoris/ thigh sex/thigh job).
However, if it happened that they went beyond the thighs and the girl got pregnant, there were certain steps that had to be taken to report the pregnancy to the young man’s family, (ukubika isisu). The girl informed her aunt or elder sister who in turn informed her parents.
Thereafter, the girl and her aunt would go to the young man’s homestead and sit conspicuously outside the boundaries until they were noticed. Both women do not smile or greet anyone, they seriously look down (bayasinama).
They would wait until someone is sent from the growingly anxious family to enquire about their presence outside their premises. Without greeting the aunt would say, “Sizobika umthwalo’’, (We are here to announce the burden/load).
The emissary would then ask for the offender’s name. Upon getting the name, the emissary would then report to the father of the homestead who would in turn call his son to interrogate him on the allegations.
If the young man affirmed and said, “Umthwalo ngowami”, the two women would then be invited and ushered into the homestead to spend the night. It is only at this point that pleasantries and greetings were exchanged.
In the early hours of the morning, the young man’s father would present to the two women a live goat. The goat symbolised that the father and the clan were taking responsibility for their son’s actions.
As he presents the goat the father would say “Nanso isifuyo esicola ngaso umthwalo wethu”, (here is the animal with which we accept responsibility for the pregnancy).
The aunt would then thank the clan for the beast. Thereafter, the beast slaughtered and eaten merrily. Its skin was spread out and dried by being fixed to the ground using wooden pegs. The two women stayed for another day waiting for the hide to dry.
The following day the, the skin (isikhumba) was folded and handed over to the aunt. As he presents the hide the father would say, “Nansi isikhumba azangcaya ngaso umthwalo wethu” (here is the hide for carrying our baby).
Seeing them coming back with a goat hide was a cause for joy and celebration for the girl’s family. That hide would then be tanned, (ukutshukwa), to make her maternity dress, (ingcayo).
When the lady gave birth, emissaries were sent to inform the young man’s family. They would in turn dispatch someone, usually the young man’s mother to go and congratulate the young lady, (ukwenza amhlophe).
A beast would be sent by the young man’s family to be slaughtered for welcoming the baby. The beast was commonly known as inyama yomntwana. However, the real term was “imbuzi yokukhupha itshatha”, removing the stain.
All the above processes did not necessarily mean that the parties would get married. In the next thread we will explore the steps leading to marriage or where the young man had no plans to marry. We will also explore where the young man denied responsibility. (source: Mzala Tom @RealMzalaTom)
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