Special marriage rituals of the Ndebele people
BEFORE colonialism there were rituals that the Ndebele people conducted to seal a marriage covenant between two families. These rituals were done to hand over the bride, after the lobola ceremony.
Marriage was viewed as an irreversible contract. Under no circumstances were spouses supposed to divorce. To appease an aggrieved man who married a barren wife, the family of the wife would arrange another wife for him.
A woman could not divorce an infertile husband. One of his brothers would privately step in to assist the man to have children by sleeping with his wife. This happened where the traditional doctors had failed to cure the man of his infertility.
Now back to the marriage ceremonies. There were elaborate rituals done to hand over the wife to her new family. The first ritual conducted before the wife was handed over was known as Ukucola.
Ukucola means to cleanse, to express happiness or wish one success. A day before the marriage party, the bride’s father slaughtered a goat, or cow for ukucola the daughter. The father would then anoint the girl with the bile ( inyongo) on her head, back of the neck, joints etc.
The process was known as ukuthela inyongo. The bitter, yellowish green substance worked as some form of libation to the ancestors. As the father applied inyongo he informed the ancestors of the marriage contract.
Ukucola was thus a prayer and special appeal to the ancestors to look after their descendant in her new role as a wife. The second ritual conducted was when umthimba (wedding entourage) left the next day after ukucola, to go to the groom’s home. Before departing a special ritual known as ukuphehlela isithundu was performed at the bride’s home.
The bride and her father entered the cattle kraal. The father used a stirring device known as uphehlo. With it he stirred the contents of a gourd ( iqhaga) until there was white form.
He would pour it over his daughter’s head and body. As he did so he prayed for the marriage.
The girl then left the kraal not through the entrance ( isango), but through the fence ( umbelo). As she did so she was handed a special knife by her father or brother.
The empty gall bladder from the beast killed for ukucola was blown like a balloon using umsingazana or usezi grasses and tied with a string. It was then hung around the neck of the best bridesmaid, usonyongwana.
The rest of the entourage helped carry the wedding gifts as they headed to the groom’s place. They walked in a special formation to ensure that the bride was concealed from the public eye. The wedding party sang, ukuklaza, as they followed the bride, umlobokazi.
The entourage comprised of the matron of honour known as ingqwele, the bridesmaids, osonyongwana and those who were to sweep the groom’s homestead, osomthanyelwana.
Upon arrival at the groom’s village, umthimba ensured that the bride was concealed from public view. At this point umthimba was called umtshitshi womthimba.
The bride was not allowed to step on the soil lest the witches stole her foot prints ( ukucupha inyawo). Reed mats were thus placed along the path, ( ukudaya amacansi) as the procession entered the village to wild celebrations and ululations.
Umthimba would then wait by the groom’s cattle kraal. After discussions and exchanges by the families a beast was paid for the entourage to sit down ( inkomo yamacansi).
Some delegates traveling with the bride would then go to the cattle kraal to identify the beast that would be slaughtered to cola the bride, this time by the groom’s father. A man from the groom’s side was chosen to kill the beast.
If the man failed, another man from the bride’s side was chosen to kill the beast. The father-in-law performed ukucola on the bride for the ancestors to receive her in the family. Ukucola process is as described in part 1of this thread. Usonyongwana wore the bladder as again.
The next phase was a ceremony known as Ukumekeza. For the ceremony, umlobokazi wore a crown, known as amantiya. It was made of beautiful feathers from doves or ifefe bird. She also applied a powder on her face known as isibhuda and had decorations known as ukubalaza or ukuloba.
The bridal dance ( ukumekeza) took place inside the cattle kraal. Osomthanyelwana danced first. The bride came next, holding the knife given to her by her father on one hand and indabula, small broom made from grass, on the other hand.
The bride would naturally advanced towards the groom, beckoning him to dance with her. Her dance was known as ukukhupha umqalo, as it involved a rhythmic movement of the head and neck, back and forth.
The two would dance until the matron, iqhikiza stopped them by using a short stick to tap the bride on the back to signal the end of ukumekeza. Thereafter, people would eat, drink and be merry!
After the celebrations the bride’s family and friends returned home and performed a ritual known as ukwethula imincwazi, which were bands of skin or cloth worn around the head.
Usonyongwana remained behind to assist the bride at her new home. The last ritual the bride had to perform, at her home, was known as Ukuphinda imikhondo. The bride and usonyongwana returned to the bride’s home after three weeks.
Upon returning home, her people shaved her hair and left a top knot, ukukhehla/ ukubekwa isicholo. Isicholo head gear was worn by married women only. The bride also collected her gifts gathered from her relatives and friends.
The last ritual the burning of the gall bladders worn by usonyongwana. The two bladders from both families were burnt together in udengezi, potsherd. This symbolised the creation of a lasting union between the two families.
The ashes of the burnt bladders were finally deposited on the midden ( esilotheni). At this point the bride was now a full-fledged married woman wearing isicholo. She was handed over to her in-laws to build her new home. That’s how the ancient Ndebele tied the knot! (Source: @RealMzalaTom)