Mental illness affects many Zim children

MOVING abroad is a package which is packaged in golden cover, but what it gives is hidden until very late.

The migration of parents from one country to another raises questions about the benefits of a livelihood strategy that results in families being divided across national borders.

When parents migrate, new ‘transnational’ household arrangements and family practices emerge as childcare is (re)configured in ways that affect the well-being not only of children, but also of their careers.

In most cases, the impact of parental absence on the mental health of carers in relation to, first, household arrangements, and second, transnational family practices and the characteristics of migration are missed and sometimes never taken as a disadvantage.

Moreover, maternal depression has been found to impact negatively on infant growth in many situations where children literally look after themselves.

The welfare of the children in diaspora is likely to be influenced by different socio-cultural narratives that frame the role of ‘woman and mother’, and motherhood in some instances has been eroded.

While the wealth generated by working abroad might be expected to mitigate or even eliminate any negative effects of parental absence, the dominance of traditional gender roles affects the family life in such negative ways which affects the thinking of a child, which could be detrimental to their mental health.

A mental health crisis is any situation in which a person’s actions, feelings, and behaviours can lead to them hurting themselves or others, and/or put them at risk of being unable to care for themselves or function in the community in a healthy manner.

Situations that can lead to a mental health crisis can include stress at home like conflicts with loved ones, exposure to trauma, or violence.

Stress at work or school and other environmental stress can also contribute to a mental health crisis.

Most people abroad have failed to notice when their children are having a mental crisis.

It is always difficult to believe that your child could have mental crisis or a mental health emergency.

There are times when a parent needs help quickly – when children can’t calm down, are uncontrollable or may be in sudden danger of hurting themselves or others.

Our African-Zimbabwean thinking is that a child can be treated effectively with a stick. Parents fail to understand that mental health is not treated by beating a child.

In most cases we do not believe that a child can be mentally unstable. Now, when we are in the UK the stick method is prohibited by the law.

So, parents can not administer the sjambok prescription. It is against the law. So many children in diaspora are left in the ailment of the mental health.

A crisis situation exists any time that a child is no longer safe to himself or others or when there is a need for immediate action or intervention.

It is usually a time when all of your energies are being demanded in order to take care of your child.

Working abroad sounds great, no body thinks about the children. The children are growing with the presence of their parents.

Many parents are so dedicated to their jobs such that they do not give time to their children.

Mothers go to work and come back very tired so they have no time for the children. Many times they order fast food and the children love it, but their health is compromised.

Many children are obsessed because home cooked food is a luxury. The biggest problem is their mental health.

The parents have no one to hear them out. They are often dismissed as troublesome and their emotions are ignored. This condemns them into deep mental abyss.

Children do experience mental health crisis including that they sometimes struggle with rapid mood swings and extreme energy or lack of it, sleeping all the time, or being unable to sleep.

When children sleep the whole day, parents always dismiss it as laziness.

This is a clear missed chance of dealing with your child’s mental health.

Nomsa Matendere (not her correct name) shared her problems with her child.

She said: “My child started having severe agitation, pacing around. I noticed that he was talking very rapidly or non-stop, exhibiting some confused thinking or irrational thoughts. When I try to talk to him as a mother he will start thinking that everyone is out to get them or seeming to lose touch with reality.

“He believed he was the only one who knows everything and everybody is ignorant. Sometime he will be experiencing hallucinations or delusions. Nomsa stopped in between words chuckling back heavy emotions.”

She continued: “My child will sometimes be making threats to others or threatens to do self harm. I started noticing him isolating himself from friends and family, not coming out of his room. His eating habits will always knock of parallels.

“One time he refused to eat for days. Or he would eat all the times, yet he remained skinny.”

Dr Masanzu a mental health expert commented: “This list above contains many but not all the possible signs that your child may be experiencing a crisis. It is best to follow your instincts. Remember you are the expert when it comes to your child.

“If you feel your child is behaving much differently than normal or if the situation seems like it is getting out of control and you fear you may not be able to de-escalate it – then your child is most likely experiencing a crisis.

Dr Masanzu gave few tips on how parents could assist their children.

He urged parents to have time with their children.

“Tell your child what you have observed that is worrying you,” he said. “Show the child that you love him and you are worried.”

Dr Masanzu went on to say that “the African medicine of Sjambok does not work”.

Mental health is not treated by beating or by prophets.

Let your children know that you love them and you want to help. Parents must show that they are worried and are willing to help.

Pastor Nyoni Gabriel said Zimbabwean parents in the UK want to act tough.

“They believe that showing your child love is a weakness,” he said. “That’s a very backward belief. Children are meant to be loved and they must be shown such love. In most cases, mental health is treated by love.”

An emotionally distressed child with no one to talk to is very vulnerable.