Cut-price coffins in demand with undertakers

The Herald November 10, 1979 JOHANNESBURG. — Shoppers in the golden city yesterday did a double take when three people marched out of “discount king” Mr Tony Factor’s new in-town centre, carrying brown paper-wrapped parcels . . . well, not quite under their arms.

For despite the wrappings the shape beneath was unmistakable. Yes, coffins. Cut-price coffins.

“They are selling like hotcakes,” Mr Howard Thomas, spokesman for this latest Factor “undertaking” said.

“These three were cash-on-thebarrel sales and we wrapped up the coffins for them to take away there and then.”

So, if Mr Factor cannot sell his ingots as a hedge against inflation, he has caught on to the only sure thing in life — death, Iana reports.

“We have received a firm order for 180 coffins from the undertaker in Mamelodi Township,” Mr Thomas said.

“And we have too, so far unconfirmed orders for 100 per month from black undertakers in Bophuthatswana.”

He said there had been many inquiries for infant coffins.

“This is rather sad, but we have had very many inquiries from black undertakers for these. We shall have to look into it.”

The coffins come in two models, a plain casket with handles at R79 and a more ornate model with gabbled lid at R139.

They are made of chipboard with a plastic veneer that complies with the South African Bureau of standards specifications that they must last for at least three years from interment after which time they must begin to break up.

LESSONS FOR TODAY

◆ People love to buy things through bargains, and some are even prepared to go to extra-ordinary extends such as buying coffins, which in some religions or customs is taboo, especially if no one has died.

◆ Cash on the barrel sales, money in the form of paper currency or coins, paid immediately at the time and place of a transaction, is a smart and risk-free way of doing business. The lexicographer Charles Earle Funk deduced that this term originated in the days when up-ended barrels served as both seats and tables in bars, and customers were required to pay for their drinks immediately, literally putting their money on the top (head) of a barrel.

◆ People are always looking at investing their money in things that hedge them against inflation that can erode the value of their wealth. The most obvious being the stock markets or gold, but the people in the story decided to invest in coffins because death is a sure thing and they were sure that they would recoup their money and even profit from their investment.

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