The game of pretence

HAVE you ever pretended to be something that you are not?

I am sure that if you are being honest your answer will surely be yes! When we were small some of us used to pretend to be sick so that we would be excused from chores.

There are some people who were so good at pretence that it is a wonder how their parents or guardians did not get them admitted at the nearest hospitals.

Some deserved to be admitted just because of the symptoms that they acted out.

I have realised that children will always be children, no matter the generation. What basically changes are the tricks that are employed in the pretence game. These days the young people just add a bit of technology and it is done.

There are a few things though that are tricky when it comes to pretence.

Pretending falls into the same category as lying. When one lies, he or she has to remember the details of the story that shared.

One runs the risk of forgetting a detail and that will throw the whole story astray! The truth is always safer, so much safer.

One does not have to really think about remembering the details because they do not change when telling the truth! So when we were young, some of us would pretend to be sick. Parents and guardians would be on high alert to attend to the “sick” children.

Most mothers back in the time when I was small would have these almost pink coloured child friendly painkiller tablets After being “forced” to eat something one would get the painkiller.

A friend and I were discussing the other time that some of the conditions we have today could be as a result of the times we took medicines when were not sick! We did not do it many times....After being given the painkiller one would be sent to rest.

MaNcube, my mother, since I was young and even today maintained that if one is not well, he or she should wake up early and go out to get some fresh air before it is polluted.

My mother would wake up the “sick” child early in the morning for the fresh air encounter. This would be followed by a bath, food, painkiller and rest. If one was pretending to be sick, not being assigned chores would be a welcome break. There was a downside to the pretence though. Since one was sick, one could not play with the others.

So either while “resting” you would hear the others enjoy a game outside knowing fully that you could not join.

It was even worse when a particular meal would be served and you really wanted it but the adults would decide that given your condition, you could not have it....it was a lesson learnt from a an early age, you cannot have your cake and eat it!

Back in high school one issue that took much of our attention was the “it” experience, menstruation. It was one thing that we had in common like our school skirts, shirts, ties and jackets.

Yes, jackets. At my Advanced Level school, we did not wear blazers. We wore jackets! Jackets are a story for another day. Even though our uniform was the same, there were some differences though that were seen. The uniform draped on the girls differently.

Our periods were also different. In A Level, we all experienced periods. What differed was the length of the period, flow and how much pain or discomfort one endured.

Since there was not much privacy in boarding school, most people tended just to know other girls’ business more than others.

Sadly, gossip was prevalent. There were some girls who literally were self-employed tabloid journalists.

To avoid being the headline story in the school tabloid, some girls would have periods when they did not have periods!

They would buy sanitary ware and actually display it on the beds for all to see.

They did not want to have to explain anything to anyone. Besides the tabloid journalists did not require any explanation, they just disseminated what they collected without any verification.

I remember how shocked we were when we heard that one of our school mates had a baby less than four months after we left boarding school.

She became a mother soon after the A Level results. So the question was had she had her periods for the bulk of her pregnancy?

Why had she just carried on being just a girl while she was a mother in waiting?

When we thought she was handling exam pressure well by not losing weight when the majority became slimmer, she was actually pregnant! Had we not sat at the same dining room tables, we could have accused the kitchen staff of giving her more food!

Later when I was to become pregnant and experience morning sickness, fatigue and mood swings, I would just wonder how my school mate had handled it then back in high school.

Not one day did she miss school as she carried her pregnancy in boarding school.

One associate recently had been wondering why her helper all of a sudden was gaining weight. She could see how the young girl’s body was changing.

When she then mastered the courage to ask her if she could be pregnant, the helper denied. Just to prove her point she went on to tell her when she had a last menstrual period.

She could have shown her a pack of pads that was no longer full. How could she be pregnant when she had a period recently?

She was just gaining weight. My associate still did not buy that story.

When she then asked her helper why her belly seemed to be bulging, the helper said she too was concerned! She still insisted that she was not pregnant and would talk about having a period not so long ago.

A lot of confusion, if you ask me! Beginning of this week, pregnancy was confirmed. She is mid second trimester! Just think of the misused sanitary ware.