The consequences of layering

LAST week` s article left me a bit unpopular with some members of the female species.

Especially when I talked about stashed underpants and that it would become worse if next to dirty undergarment was a sanitary pad that had been worn for a very long time.

Basic hygiene is very important. There are some people, males and females, who devote so much time to the outward appearance yet the inside is not well taken care of.

Have you ever been to a function where there is that cake that seemed to call out your name? Picture this, the presentation is amazing.

It is set high on some pedestal for everyone to see. The icing or the frosting complete with glace cherries or chocolate fl akes is just to die for.

But the time of the cutting of the cake is not determined by how much the guests long for the cake. The hosts have the final say regarding when the cake will be cut.

I really understand my mother Ma Ncube now more than ever. For years I have known that if I am need of a quick sugar fix, not that it is the healthiest thing to do, getting to my mother`s handbag is one way I am sure that I will get a sweet.

My grandmother used to do the same too. Mature women and sweet things, note how I refer them to as mature. I am getting to be one of them and I do not like it when people use the O word on me! I prefer mature, thank you!

I am not going to allow being mature make me unhealthy. I am looking always for healthy snacks and ignoring the sweet tooth when it wants to get wild.

Back to our awesome cake. Then it is your turn to get the slice that you have been waiting for. As you wait in line, patiently again, you can almost taste how delicious the cake is, with all the ingredients in place.

I was at a function after which we were invited to have snacks. Walking into the area where the snacks where, there it was. A cake. I stood in line to be served.

The young lady serving the cake smiled as she cut a slightly bigger one to the ones that she had been serving. No explanation given. Who was I as a mature lady to deny myself more cake?

So with an element of satisfaction, I went to sit down by a tree where there were other guests. I held the paper plate with my cake very carefully.

I looked at the diff erent layers of the cake, with cream frosting in between the layers.

Very attractive and inviting. I picked my fork with the highest of expectation. As I brought the fork with a generous portion of the cake to my mouth I was salivating.

Cake in my mouth, allowing the digestive system to start working. Then I frowned. What could be wrong? Why did I feel like I had put the wrong thing in my mouth?

Looked at my plate, tried to connect what I saw with the taste in my mouth. How could it be? Th ere was a mismatch. Attractive to the eye, great disappointment in the mouth.

Quickly chewed the piece then reached for my water bottle and took a few gulps. My taste buds were in shock regarding the mismatch that it had experienced. At some point I felt like taking off my spectacles just to confirm without them!

I had issues racing in my head following my disappointment with a cake that I had looked forward to eating so much. Is this the reason that mature women always carry sweets?

Could it be that menopause had affected my taste buds? Was I paying the price for being greedy and letting the one who was serving give me much cake without even saying that it was a lot?

Maybe I should have opted for the savoury options that I had chosen to ignore. I just could not make or tail of what to with my predicament.

What compounded my anguish is that I do not really like throwing away food. Whenever I am about to do that I remember when we were small and one was full or felt full and wanted to put away a plate with food, my grandmothers would say: “There is probably someone somewhere who has nothing to eat yet you would like to throw away that food. You could have told the one dishing that you require less food today.”

It would usually end with them saying misfortunes that revolved around hunger would befall you.

I got up and took my plate to a designated disposal point. I left the place, happy to be outside taking in fresh air. Then I walked past a well- dressed young man who it seemed had sprayed more than necessary deodorant. Having no one to share my sentiments with, I used a book I had to fan myself.

Then I heard someone behind me comment: “That is just too much deo.” I avoided turning.

Th en a different voice: “Such people who use so much deodorant, would not have bathed properly. They use the deo as a cover up. I suspect that he has loads of clothes under the actual clothes that we can see.”

I maintained the gap between us. Th e other person agreed; “He could be wearing underpants, a boxer short, a tracksuit and then the formal trousers that we can see,” he was already laughing as he finished off.

I slowed down to allow them to pass and also get a chance to see them. Two young men who from the uniforms they wore are in the fi nal years of high school.

I smiled when I heard the comment that followed: “Layering is not good at all. People only see the outside yet inside its disastrous. He is probably wearing a vest, a t- shirt, shirt and then that jacket. Appearance is deceiving.”