My husband wants a second wife
FROM My Heart is a platform created for you to share your issues and get practical assistance. Together we can create brighter lives and happier people, transforming mindsets one day at a time. Send your heart to heart message to Tete Barbara and read her responses.
Dear Tete
I have been married for over two years without any issues. Late last year I had a baby girl and soon afterwards, I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a younger girl who was pregnant. I confronted my man about what I had heard, but he simply dismissed it as vicious rumours that were aimed at destroying our marriage. Four days ago he came to me and told me that he wanted to take a second wife. I am broken. I never dreamt of becoming a wife in a polygamous setup. Tete Responds:
You are in charge of your life and therefore you should be in control of the situation. Yes, you may be in shock, but you must shape up and get back on the horse. Your husband has come clean on his position and now the ball is in your court. Talk to your husband and find out what this whole set up means. If you do not agree with the idea, you are old enough to decide. Also, if you are legally married, find out about what you can do to protect yourself in the union. You know what you want and what you are prepared to take.
All the Best!
I am not ready to marry her Dear Tete
I am a 28-year-old guy employed as a banker. I have been dating this girl for a few months and already she has been dropping hints of wanting to get married. I am cool with dating, but marriage, no way! She has these funny little messages that encourage marriage and she has married friends. I think she is a nice girl, but I think I should call it off and find someone who wants to have fun. Tete Responds:
It is common for a partner in a relationship to feel more comfortable than the other party and see ahead. When a woman feels happy and secure she obviously wants to harness the treasure and keep them for herself. There is nothing strong with anyone feeling like they have found a keeper in you. If anything you should feel proud to have those very attractive characteristics that are rare these days. I suggest that you do not dump your sweet and wonderful catch, rather talk more about your future plans. With a clear vision — life becomes easier to navigate as you both have a clear vision of where it is you would like to be. If she cannot wait, then tough luck. Remember, when you find that special someone, keep them! Good Luck!
I am HIV positive
Dear Tete
I have HIV, but I cannot tell my father. My mother and I have been keeping this secret for a long time and now I feel that the burden is too much to carry. I would like to let my father know, but he is a vicious and crude man. He may choose to chuck me out. My mother can also suffer because of my condition. Please help me. Tete Responds:
It is sad that disclosing something like an HIV status is still difficult for many. Your desire to inform your father about your status is commendable, but the concern is the fear of reaching out. You need to work on your personal relationship first before weighing an already strained relationship. Talk to your father more and find his good side. Know him and let him know you too. When the time presents itself you will find it easy to share your secret. Alternatively, you can find someone who can reach out to him without causing damage.
All The Best
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