Parents have it all wrong on exam results
A LOT of parents mentally shrink and recoil in uncontrollable stress, some of it deteriorating into hypertensive depression when final examination results come out.
Here is a word of advice for those who believe every child including their own must get a string of grade As in the Ordinary level results and 15 points or better ‘A’ level results.
While we all want our children to be whizz-kids, are they made of that kind of brilliance?
If your child gets Bs and Cs, perhaps even Cs and Ds or 8, 7 or 6 points at ‘A’ Level, do not look for rat poison, piece of wire or rope to do the undone. . .the abominable. Take a long deep breath, drink a lot of water and relax. Take it easy. Yes, the investment part of the equation. . .the time and money wasted. . .comes in hurting. But is it time wasted really? Is it money wasted? Certainly not! Your child has certainly learnt something in the years spent in school. He is certainly wiser and more knowledgeable. . .skilled maybe in a certain area than he or she was when she went to the final level of learning. So there is no money wasted really. Even terrible failures have not failed. They have learnt something.
With character. . .responsibility, focus, purpose and determination, the average learner or student can do far better in life than an A-student or 15 to 25 pointer who has no character and sense of direction. We have enough examples in the world of people who dropped out of colleges-universities but because they had vision, mission and purpose. . .a sense of direction and accomplishment, they made it to the top. It is not the quality of pass rate that determines the success or failure of an individual in life. It is the choices one makes accentuated by purpose and personal discipline that eventually determine outcomes in life.
Worry about the interests or abilities, career inclinations, choices or options your child has on the table; mind his sense of responsibility and discipline, not his examination results. Worry about what he will become, not what he has failed to achieve. Instead of pushing your square peg into a round hole and wishing they had made headlines over distinction grades and top points, as a parent, please be the first to guide your child that character is key. Nature makes the gosling grow into a goose, a bowet into a hawk and a colt into a stallion. It is choice that shapes purpose and direction, and both drive a sense of accomplishment.
Your child needs character and wisdom, not 15 or 25 points in an examination. Many children have lost academic lustre in irresponsible behaviour and making wrong choices in life. Your mediocre child could easily make it to his or her top. . .his or her best, without the best examination results. Your best child could easily become the worst flop in the world with his or her top grades and points scored in a few hours and days of answering exam questions with nothing to do about real life.
A lot of our children do not miss the bus in the examination room. They lose everything in the choices they make about themselves after the examination. Every child has untapped potential in them, including yours. So never lose sleep over an examination he or she could not stand up to. It is tough to survive in the 21st century. The modern world is full of trickery and deep-seated but useless heroism. Young men and women want to become celebrities without anything to celebrate. It is not the grades or points they got in their examinations that will make them resist, endure or overcome intractable problems in the world, but wisdom. What is this wisdom? Where does it come from? How is it attained? These are the wise questions every wise parent must ask for the purpose of guiding a child, not questions about examination grades and points. We all want them. We all want our children to be whizzkids. But the ugly truth is that not all of them are.
They can only academically stretch so far and no more. We all know what happens when we overstretch the bow. Even the elasticity of elastic is not infinite. It can only stretch to a point. Beyond that it snaps. Such are the brains and abilities of our children.
The greatest problem of the modern parent is to believe that examinations, important as they may be, are more important than character, focus, purpose and wisdom in making choices. . .choices around friends, priorities, careers, types of joy or entertainment and other forms of feel-good practices. There is more to be afraid of in these choices than in examination results.