Worried about wife’s behaviour around men
I AM a married man aged 33. I am married to a beautiful wife, she is 26 and Jehovah blessed us with two beautiful girls. My problem is that sometimes I feel like some of my wife’s actions around men are not proper.
I feel like she does everything within her power to draw their attention and be recognised by them. She has a tendency of looking at my friends straight in the eyes when they visit, so much that some feel uncomfortable.
She sometimes praises other men when we talk. Is there something wrong with my wife or it is me being jealous? I am looking forward to your reply Tete.
Tete Joyie says:
It is understandable that you are feeling concerned and perhaps a bit uneasy about your wife’s behaviour around other men. It is important to approach this situation with openness and communication rather than jumping to conclusions. Here are a few suggestions on how to address your feelings:
Reflect on your feelings:
Take some time to reflect on your feelings of jealousy and discomfort. Try to identify specific instances or behaviours that trigger these emotions. This self-reflection can help you articulate your concerns more clearly.
Open communication:
Choose a calm and private moment to talk to your wife about your feelings. Use “I” statements to express your concerns, such as “I feel uncomfortable when...” or “I have noticed that...”. Avoid blaming language, and encourage an open and honest conversation. Seek clarification:
Instead of assuming motives behind your wife’s actions, ask her about them. It is possible that she may not be aware of how her behaviour is affecting you or that there might be a misunderstanding.
Build trust:
Reinforce the trust in your relationship by expressing your love and appreciation for your wife. Let her know that your intention is not to accuse or blame, but to understand and strengthen your connection.
Quality time together:
Spend quality time together to strengthen your bond. Sometimes, insecurities can arise when there is a lack of connection. Engage in activities that both of you enjoy and that strengthen your relationship.
Consider professional help:
If the issue persists and communication proves challenging, you might consider seeking the help of a couples’ counsellor or a therapist. A neutral third party can facilitate productive discussions and provide guidance.
Remember, it is crucial to approach this matter with empathy and understanding. Healthy communication is key to resolving concerns and building a stronger relationship. I wish you both the best in addressing and overcoming any challenges you may be facing.
Long distance relationship stressing me out
Dear Tete Joyie:
I have something that is bothering me day and night. My boyfriend left me last year in June, and I love him with all my heart. The same applies to him and he also makes an effort to make me happy.
But since he went to South Africa , I am seeing some differences, like some of my calls are now going unanswered. Can you help me out Tete, do you think my relationship is still in a safe place?
Tete Joyie says:
I believe you are having these insecurities because you are far away from him.
You need to remain calm and not freak out just because he is not picking up your calls all the time, as long as he then calls back when he gets the chance.
You were so used to seeing him daily so maybe his one phone call per day may seem like less communication.
Whatever you do, do not call him more than three times if he is not picking up. He might be busy and will communicate when he gets some time to chat. Do not show insecurity by calling many times without getting any response.
Remain calm and watch our for any red flags because l believe you know your man. lf the red flags keep popping up, do not ignore them. Talk to him about it and be frank. Listen to your heart and you will know if you should soldier on or call it quits.
If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, Whatsapp 0716 069 196 and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember all those who write to us remain anonymous.