Shunned due to HIV status

A MUTARE man is spurning his wife’s sexual advances after she was diagnosed with HIV.

The couple, which has been married for a year, has not been intimate ever since the wife tested HIV positive during her pregnancy.

However, the man does not know his own status as his last

HIV test was years ago.

When they recently appeared before Headman Chigodora’s community court, Lovemore Mhemberero (28) said he cannot be intimate with his wife, Ruvimbo Matakure (not real name) because of her HIV status.

“I have not undergone any HIV tests recently, but when I did so some years ago, I tested negative.

My uncle can also confirm that. After hearing of my wife’s HIV status, I never visited a clinic for tests,” he said.

Mhemberero said his wife was unfaithful to him during the five years of their courtship.

“I honestly do not know if I am HIV positive, but I am sure that I did not infect her. However, if this court feels that I should undergo a HIV test, I am prepared to do that,” said Mhemberero.

The matter was brought before the community court by Matakure who felt that she was being mistreated by her husband who was denying her conjugal rights as a customarily married woman.

She said she felt hurt and betrayed by her husband, while Mhemberero insisted that he was scared and confused on how to protect himself from the virus.

“I dated him for five years prior to our marriage. During those five years, I never slept with any other person, save for him. Even after our marriage I have never been intimate with any other person.

“I only discovered that I was HIV positive after I fell ill during my pregnancy. I almost died and nurses wondered why. They ended up testing me for HIV and I tested positive.

“I was put on medication. My husband’s grandmother helped me to recover through her support.

“I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. I suspect that somebody in our village told my husband that I had tested HIV positive because from then on, he stopped communicating with me as he was in Mutare. I would text him and he would not respond. I would call him and he would not call back. I went to stay with him in Mutare,” she said.

Matakure said since then, her life has been a living hell as Mhemberero avoids her at all costs.

“We sleep on the same bed, but we use separate blankets. It seems he is afraid that I will infect him with HIV, but if this virus is only transmitted sexually, he is the one who infected me as I have never slept with any other man besides him.

“He only buys food for me and our baby as well as providing a roof over our heads. However, his presence as a father and a husband is not felt,” she said.

Mhemberero’s uncle, Steven Mhemberero said he would have assisted the couple if they had shared their marital challenges with him.

“I am shocked to hear this. I never heard that this is what Matakure is going through at the hands of my nephew. I will counsel them so that they can stay together in peace. After all, testing HIV positive is not a death sentence,” he said.

Headman Chigodora ordered Mhemberero not to shun his wife due to her HIV status.

“The truth is that you might also be infected, but you are just afraid to get tested.

“You were sleeping with her for five years, what makes you so sure that you are HIV negative? Get tested so that you both know your status and get the necessary care,” he said.

Discrimination and stigma could derail the fight against HIV/Aids as it discourages people from accessing HIV prevention, treatment, and care services.