A master class in singing for your supper

My Dear People, I would like to start by congratulating Obhiza Gutu on his appointment to the National Peace and Reconciliation Commission (NPRC).

You see, Gutu serves as a stunning example of how to sing for your supper, literally, and get rewarded for it.

What Obhiza’s appointment teaches us is that you really don’t have to work hard for anything and you do not have principle, just make the right noises and you will soon find yourself with a lofty position.

In fact, our youth can learn one or two things from Obhiza; one slogan here, one slogan there and voila. Surely, this is not back breaking stuff.

But while Obhiza can be singing like a canary, I wonder how he sleeps at night because his Uturn is probably the most embarrassing of them all.

From being a senior opposition leader to singing for his supper in this way, surely, if he had any morals, he would be nowhere near Ngwena.

But politicians are a self-serving bunch and here is the newly minted and bearded Obhiza literally going to every length possible to lick the boots that he once spitted on — well at least that’s what we all think, maybe it was just an act.

For one to be an effective commissioner of the NPRC, they need to be apolitical, but Obhiza is anything but.

Instead, he is an avowed member of Zanu PF and surely this should have disqualified him from the position.

But as we have all learnt, Zanu PF members are not subject to the rules and laws that we should all stick to, they make the rules as they go.

Anyway, keep licking those boots Obhiza, the sky is the limit. A seat on the Constitutional Court bench is the next step.

Speaking of the Constitutional Court, I am also embarrassed by the conduct of Chief Justice Luke Malaba.

When he assumed the position, I thought for the first time since the Third Chimurenga, kkkk, we had a man of integrity for that position.

I am tempted to think I was wrong.

It looks like Malaba wants to stay on as the chief justice, even if the constitution that we all voted for bars him from doing that.

I am not talking about the amendment that was railroaded by Ngwena and Dougie, but the constitution that was voted for by the people of Zimbabwe as a whole.

If Malaba was the man that I thought he was, he would have long announced his retirement and began the process of choosing his successor.

Come on, even Goddie Chidyausiku, who had his fair share of critics did that, so why can’t Malaba?

If he stays on, his legacy will be forever tainted, but that’s if he cares after all.

Did Malaba not learn something from Duggish’s voluntary retirement from that big position? I hear you saying Kembo had no choice after he was caught pants down, literally kkkk. Munopenga. Stop it!

If you thought the Bobstar was a problem, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Ngwena is just beginning his masterpiece and you will not recognise this country once he is done.

He has threatened lawyers and doctors, taken over the opposition, he has changed the constitution and he is literally doing as he pleases.

By the time he is done, you will all wish the Bobstar was still around.

Actually, I want to put up a poster of the Bobstar on Samora Machel and Rotten Row — by the way, who can explain why that road has such a rotten name?

But before I digress, the poster will have a smiling Bobstar with the caption: “Miss me yet?”

Kkk, when you people marched, you didn’t realise you were jumping from the pan into the furnance kkk.

I see the opposition lawyers are planning to challenge a few aspects of the amendment, kkk they will be appearing before Malaba.

Good luck.

Dear Bulawayo, I see your city is now being run by Major Town

Clerk, kkk.

You had an opportunity to rid yourself of that man, but you were drawn by his profanity more than his professionalism.

I remember, his profanity became content for T-shirts and Bulawayo celebrated him.

But the guy in the office now is not in the mould of the late Mike Ndubiwa or Moffat Ndlovu.

Those were men of integrity, who made Bulawayo what it is.

You see, Moffat was a thorn in Baba’s flesh, but with gritted teeth, Baba tolerated him because he appreciated that he was working for the people.

Was it not Baba who went to Bulawayo and begrudgingly said Bulawayo was the best run city in Zimbabwe?

This is because of the groundwork done by the likes of Moffat and Mike.

Now, the city is falling apart and it will only get worse as Major Town Clerk does as he pleases.

You had your chance to get rid of him and you blew it.

To the Ndubiwa family, we say “esihle kasidleli”, may you rest in eternal peace. Gushungo chete chete! Ntombizodwa chete chete!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)