The Standard (Zimbabwe)

Ngwena’s desperate mission to rescue losers

- BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People

THE Al Jazeera exposé on illicit financial inflows and rampant smuggling of gold out of Zimbabwe by the elite continues to spawn yet more chaos within the dispensati­on of poverty, darkness and confusion.

After weeks of angry denials steeped in accusation­s of machinatio­ns towards the regime change agenda in its reaction to the exposé, Ngwena’s administra­tion has now promised to carry out investigat­ions claiming that it takes the gold mafia allegation­s seriously.

“Any person found to have engaged in acts of corruption, fraud or any form of crime will face the full wrath of the law,” Informatio­n minister Monica said in a total volte- face that is characteri­stic of the confusion and pandemoniu­m that has taken hold of the party since being left bereft of the telescopic wisdom of Gushungo.

It is in stark contrast to the rant by her husband and Zanu PF spokesman Chris, who called the expose ‘balderdash.’

It was also in stark contrast to the threats of imprisonme­nt by Joji to journalist­s,who reported on the embarrassi­ng revelation­s by Al Jazeera.

It is no wonder why Ngwena excoriated his communicat­ions department, who would struggle to organise a piss up in a brewery kkkk.

However, the promise by Ngwena’s administra­tion to apprehend the culprits exposed by the internatio­nal news organisati­on should be no cause for celebratio­n as we have been given such promises before with absolutely nothing to show for it.

We were promised during the coup that criminals around Gushungo will be arrested, but nothing of the sort has happened.

As we all knew, this was a load of hot air as has become the norm with anything associated with Ngwena and his coup gangstas.

As expected, the Zanu PF primaries have been farcical and were riddled by accusation­s of underhand dealings, tampering with ballots and other electoral malpractic­es.

After the likes of Jenfran Muswere and Ziyambi Ziyambi, who are Ngwena’s blue-eyed boys, lost dismally in the party’s primaries, Zanu PF is up to its usual skulldugge­ry to change the results in their favour.

Despite boasting of meticulous verificati­on of candidates who participat­ed in the primaries, it suddenly emerged that Moses Ruwona, who humiliated Muswere in the Makoni West primary, did not have his papers in order.

Muswere was of course instrument­al in helping Ngwena run away after Gushungo had fired him for his lack of probity.

They also discovered despite this meticulous verificati­on, that one Robert Nyemudzo who had won the Chipinge South primary actually owned an illicit beer manufactur­ing factory in the town.

In desperatio­n to save Ziyambi, who has been in the forefront of shredding the constituti­on to suit Ngwena’s interests as well as condemning judges, who did not rule to the liking of Ngwena’s administra­tion, a rerun has been ordered in Zvimba where he lost.

These are just some of the examples of the total lack of probi, which Ngwena was rightly booted out for by Gushungo.

Yet his regime boasts of democracy in the party. Munopenga!!!

The Zimbabwe Republic Police (ZRP) have once again been in the spotlight and as usual not for the right reasons.

As an indication of the paranoia within the police force, it has ordered that those gathered at funerals during elections should clarify so as not to be confused as a political gathering.

“If we are at a funeral during elections, it’s better to report to the officer-in-charge and that will be put on record because some neighbours would lie (that there is a political gathering),” ZRP spokespers­on Assistant Commission­er Paul Nyathi said at an allstakeho­lders engagement meeting with residents and political parties, among other groupings held in the capital recently.

That even those mourning loved ones cannot do so in peace due to the fear of political gatherings, shows why 92% of Zimbabwean­s have no confidence in the police force according to the findings of research institute Afrobarome­ter.

It is a disgrace that while crime has surged by 45% our police force is more concerned about those mourning the dead during polls. Munopenga!!!

Just when you thought you had heard all the crazy stunts Ngwena's administra­tion could conjure to cover up for its dismal failure, Generari came up with a shocker.

Stung by the migration of 4 000 health workers to other countries as a result of pathetic working conditions characteri­sed by a lack of basic resources in public hospital, Generari announced at the launch of the 2023-2028 Zimbabwe anti-traffickin­g in persons national plan of action on Wednesday that his ministry plans to enact a law criminalis­ing the recruitmen­t of its health personnel by other countries.

He said countries recruiting frustrated local health personnel, who could even be arrested for going on strike were committing “a crime against humanity.”

This is madness on steroids even for the dysfunctio­nal second repubric.

My fellow Zimbabwean­s, this is the clueless regime and its deranged nonsense that you celebrated when it catapulted into power by guns and tanks in 2017.

Munopengaa­aaaaaaaaa! Gushungo chete chete Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

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