Mudzimba with Mai Chisamba Parents are sucking us dry

MAI Chisamba, I hope I find you well. We relate to a lot of problems that people bring to this platform. I am a young man aged 33 and I am married to a beautiful woman who is 30.

We have a baby daughter and my mother imposed her name on the girl but we use her middle name instead.

It is usually believed that most daughters-in-law do not get on well with vana vamwene vavo. I did my own research and its true but I want to use my family as an example maybe it will help others.

You are on record always encouraging people to call a spade a spade. This is what I am going to do. Most mothers are greedy and this is the reason why they do not get on well with our wives.

My parents live at our rural home, they have a lot of projects they do at home. They sell vegetables, chickens, dovi and the list goes on. They have milk and meat from their mombes, mbudzi and hwai.

I am the last born so they do not pay any school fees. My problem with them is they do not want to use their own funds. Yes, we are all working but we are struggling even to pay rent and utility bills but they demand and

Some people are too blind to see, some pretend not to hear, some simply ignore if it suits them. The arrangement was temporary and it is very straight forward these guys are just taking advantage of you at the expense of their children.

At your age homework can be very strenuous. You are nearing your retiring age this is the time to take it easy and slow down. It is awesome to have your grandchildren during the holidays, weekends and so forth but anything exceeding that is not a visit but a permanent arrangement.

Parents are duty bound to bring up their children in a way they deem fit. When are they going to bond with their children? What type of a mother is this muroora? I am shocked when she says it is expensive to look after children.

Kids are precious gifts from God and they should be adored. The best is to take this head on. This is your son and muroora they are part of your inner circle. Call them and have a candid talk with them.

behind the scene and you will see all of your options. Play your cards right and you may be celebrating true success. Bring people together by showing them interesting new lifestyles or ways to work. Invest demand. We take turns to buy their provisions and send them there but they still ask for more. If they fall sick they send a message yekuda mari, if there is a church convention they ask for money, if there is any function they just demand kupuhwa mari. Yavo ichazoshanda rinhi? I know its mean but guys with deceased parents are more popular now vanhu vaneta.

When are we going to find our feet in the wake of all this nagging? All I am saying is when are they going to fend for themselves ngavaitewo please. Now some parents are like matsotsi chaiwo they go from one child to another demanding money.

They are stressing our wives day in and day out and this affects our marriages. Ndiri right handina kudyiswa chakaipa chakaipa chete. You cannot avoid them if you do not pick up your phone messages come through WhatsApp. They get in touch with you and your wife simultaneously to make sure they really rub it in. Please help I know I have written for many who could not say this. Response Thank you for sharing your research findings with this column, how accurate they may be is

Tell them point blank that bringing up their children is their direct responsibility. You as grandparents can only support their efforts when you can. In as much as you would like to stay with the kids your energy levels because of age have dropped.

Now is the time for you to save money so that you can age with dignity and enjoy your retirement. They should learn to pay fees for their kids, this is mandatory for every parent. Musauraye mhuri nekunyara hapana nyaya apa. You will continue to have your grandchildren as per your request. If you do it this way it will be more than a joy. Families should learn to communicate and speak openly about issues they are not happy with. Kunyepera kufara kwauraya mhuri dzakawanda. Help them with their budgets, they too are your children.

They should not take advantage of your understanding. Always pray sincerely for your families. I wish you all the best. ****

time with family members and you will be creating great memories for everybody. Express your ideas with passion and you will learn new ways to impress your style. Encourage others to enjoy themselves. subject to debate. I hear you and I feel for you. Yes, I always encourage people to tell the truth no matter what because it helps. It is not good for people to impose their names on grandchildren or whoever because naming remains the parent’s prerogative.

They will not use the name if they do not like it and you serve as a good example. You raised a very sensitive issue but it is happening in our midst. Our culture demands that each individual fend for himself.

We encourage our children to see that their parents are comfortable only when they can. Demanding is not a good practice

In life we help each other it should not be one sided even parents should give their children if they can. The begging should not be over done it truly affects other people’s marriages and budgets.

Some are even forced to borrow when their turn comes

We as parents should tell our children not to worry if we can generate a bit of money from our produce or pensions.

Some of our people do not quite understand that working does not mean one is financially sound it is a terrible misconception.

When one is a parent you should know that your children look up to you. You will always be their role model so do not be

Parents should keep their pride. If you do not have then it becomes another scenario you can be assisted This is for those who think their money is for keeps. Its only one life, enjoy what God has given you.

Those who rejoice when they marry guys with deceased parents its taboo its un-African. You have your priorities upside down you really should be ashamed of yourselves.

Lastly let us use our phones responsibly and be in good relationships with our families. I respect you for pouring your heart out and I do not believe in

Pray for your parents, friends and relatives it works. We serve a mighty and fair God. I wish you all the best.

ing me to go for this guy but I am just cold towards him. She has gone a step further to report this to tete my father’s sister and now it is like a tag team.

Tete has said ndine shavi rehurombe rekuda kudyiwa mari nerovha. This guy has recently started staying in our neighbourhood and tete is already calling him babamudiki.

When I buy gifts or give money to my boyfriend it is not as if ndiri kunyengerera I do it with all my heart and out of love. Tete was saying uchachemberera pamusha by the time my boyfriend gets a job I will be too old. Please help me because everyone now thinks that I am chasing the wind.

When you are in a situation like mine that is when one hates tutsika twemangamanga twekuti my man has to pay lobola. I love him so much if I had my own way I would go and spend the rest of my life with him for free. I am not for sale. Should I fall for the other guy because he is rich in their eyes?

I am just fed up. Should I marry this guy before I get too old?

your focus.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18): Advance your creative ideas and concepts to those in power. Do not rush any decisions, play the waiting game. Recent events will make you aware of how precious life is. Exhibit benefits of new venture. Verify accounting procedures, make sure everything is on track. Stay focused on bringing your greatest asset to the forefront, your confidence. Once you feel confident in yourself, you will be able to influence others. Peers may try to question your authority, reply with positive financial feedback.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20): You may feel an urge to organise your financial and personal situation this week. Look over your personal papers, make budgets and write everything down. You can get your point across and make valuable connections. Your personal life will stabilise. Do not be confrontational. You will meet opposition if you try to push your ideas too much.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19): There is an upsurge of your positive energy flow. Your good mood will be highly contagious, others will respond. You will be everywhere at once, moving so quickly, that people might miss you, if they blink. It is important for you to have your personal touch on everything. If you immerse yourself, your senses will take you for the Response I am very well thank you for asking. I think your family is working on a technicality; what age is too old? And too old for what? It seems now most people are getting lost they do not know what marriage is about.

It is a lifelong companionship based on genuine love. If marriage is based on looks, riches, age or any other reason that is not love then chances of it surviving are very slim. You are in a relationship you are happy with that is a big plus. Your mother is very unfair to this guy.

She is calling him names, the fact that he is not working should not be used to humiliate you. He is educated as you say that is the best foundation in life, the tables can change at any moment.

Rovha is not his name it is only the situation he finds himself in because of our economy. That is not his own making. The guy they are pushing you to fall for is new in your neighbourhood. The fact that he is divorced has to be established whether it is true or not.

He is a father of one and already has broken his vows why? Where is the mother of the child and what is the arrangement between them for the child? Is their divorce legally through?

There are so many questions that need to be answered before this guy can be considered. You are a major according to the law you can decide what you want to do with your life but we are people with a culture that moulds us.

Our culture demands that your husband pays lobola in order for him to be accepted by the clan. Do not look down upon this. It is just unfortunate that the man of your dreams is not financially sound otherwise hatusi tutsika twenhando.

Amai and tete are really pushing it and some of the things that they are saying are very untoward. Hapana shavi rehurombe apa kana kuchemberera pamusha.

People should learn to respect God’s time. I always say no one can fast forward or rewind it. My advice is that people should marry for love only. Continue with the man of your dreams and pray about the situation now and it shall be well.

Parents and elders out there please do not mislead the youth by considering tangible assets that can be lost instead of real and true love.

When you give whole heartedly nyaya yekudyiwa haimbofungika. Instead of just giving your boyfriend balance your act and also think of family and friends. I wish you all the best.

Write to: maichisamba@fbnet. co.zw or WhatsApp 0771415747

ride of a lifetime.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20): This week’s scenario is highlighted by your ability to overcome obstacles and to find your new direction. Once you feel more in control of the situation, you will be able to get past the negative influence you have been feeling. Accent is on using your personality to open new doors of opportunity. Your cycle is high. You will be at the right place at the right time.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20): Your flexibility and patience will help you tolerate an insufferable situation. Being stubborn will only fan the flames. The reason for your anger will become apparent once you listen to your heart. Once your plans are firmly in place, romance may begin to happen. You will be given every opportunity to grow as a person. Stop looking ahead so far and try to lose yourself in the heat of the moment.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22): You are getting back to normal. Your life seems to have gone completely off kilter, lately. You seem to have been pushed off track of your interests and goals. Other situations have taken over and become a real priority to you. You will be exposed to information and data and will be able to transform it into a valuable opportunity.

LEO (July 23 to August 22): You do not like to keep score, and generally let life just go where it goes. However, you could be on the receiving end of a beautiful serenade. The next few days will find you walking with a brisk stride and snapping your fingers. No walls will be able to contain your excitement. — Horoscope.com