Is cheating the same as abuse?
LAST week, my friend and l had an intense conversation on relationships, love and cheating. It was a heated debate. My friend is not secretive, so I try to reciprocate.
Normally I wouldn’t share this kind of story in a national newspaper but we agreed to find out what other people think about the subject, so here goes the story.
She is a single mother of two, self employed, runs her small shop somewhere in Zimbabwe. Her husband left her for another woman some years back after seven years of marriage.
Prior to that, she had put her business on hold so as to focus on raising their two children as well as finish her university degree.
Therefore, she depended on him to provide for the family. She loved him dearly.
During their marriage, she caught him
ing a suit against a third party over the breakdown of a marriage, Justice Hlekani Mwayera said in Zimbabwean policy and values, adultery remains wrong.
Ms Lorraine Matione wanted adultery to be abolished, saying it violates the cheating once.
She also found out that he had sired a child with another woman, whom they later took in after that child’s mother died.
When her husband left, he left her broke, with two kids and another woman’s child. She took that child to social welfare and had him put into a home so that she could go back to her parents’ house and start her life all over again. I saw her come out of that depression. The year 2008 came and her fortunes turned for the better, she managed to relaunch her business. Later, she started dating again. She has been with a few guys since then and now she is in a happy relationship with someone who also has two kids. A really decent guy, I must say.
Then out of the blue, she came and told me that she had cheated on him and he doesn’t know. She said she found out how easy it is and that she has done it once or twice since she started dating again.
third party’s rights to privacy and equality before the law.
Many people have filed lawsuits claiming compensation for adultery.
In 2015, a Bulawayo woman filed a lawsuit against her husband’s “small house”
I argued with her, stating that she is abusing those men and that what she did or is doing is a form of revenge to what her husband did to her and she is only fuelling emotional abuse, which will more likely have a ripple effect.
Such emotional abuse would only result in those men doing the same to some poor women out there, who will in turn probably do that to other guys and it will go on and on.
In my opinion, she is emotionally abusing the guy she is dating because he is probably thinking that he has found someone decent. She has even met his family and friends and I assume he introduced her to them because he loves her.
She says this cannot be classified as abuse. Which brings me to the real reason for telling you this story.
Do you think cheating on someone is equal to abuse?
Do you think you would want to know if your partner was cheating on you?
Do you think you could handle living with someone who has cheated on you
demanding close to $10 000 as compensation for adultery.
Mrs Samukeliso Nare nee Msipa, of Mpopoma, approached the Bulawayo Civil Court and filed summons against Ms Rinah Chitanga, accusing her of if you knew about it? What would you do if you found out? Would you cheat on someone else if the person you were in love cheated on you?
Personally, I have my own reservations on cheating from personal life experiences. I don’t condone it, never will I cheat, I will never support or cover for anyone who cheats. If it was up to me, cheaters would be in jail because not only are they emotionally abusing other people, they risk spreading venerial diseases and ruining the lives of innocent people.
I would rather be told the relationship is over than to have someone cheat on me or tell me that they cheated. snatching her husband, Mr Edwin Nare, whom she has been married to for 10 years under Chapter 5:11 of the Marriages Act.
In South Africa, adultery is no longer part of the law and a spouse cannot sue for damages.