Mudzimba with Mai Chisamba Wrong place at the wrong time

THANK you so much for your column. As I write to you I am in the middle of great confusion. I work for a certain company that I cannot disclose for professional reasons. I am a 36-year-old married woman and my hubby is 37. We have two kids, both boys. We are a happy family or maybe let me say so far so good. I am a very sober woman I do not drink but I can accommodate those who do without a problem. The year 2016 ended on a very sad note for me, sometime in November we went for a short one-day workshop. On our way back a male colleague suggested that we buy lunch at a place where they had both food and alcoholic drinks. We were five, three males and two females (including the driver). We all agreed to the idea, although, some of us had no idea that this place was one of those cheap lodges/ brothels. We ordered food and the males ordered alcoholic drinks. We chose a corner table and started eating. After I had gone half way with my food my brother-in-law walked in. He was in a very bad

the family and you have to stand firm. You should always work hard to build the family, do not worry about small things like the ndeyekwako look. Such things are not important.

Good hygiene preserves life so never compromise. Tell muroora as it is.

Mukaita chiramwa muchiita mega do not think she will be affected since she is the stubborn type.

Tell her the house needs to be cleaned for the sake of her family. Diseases like typhoid and cholera can affect the whole family if good hygiene is not practiced. You also need to convey this message to your son, he too must take a keen interest.

This is not a divisive issue it should actually bring you closer.

Your idea of allowing your son and his wife to stay at the town house is very

unknown. However, as someone who likes security and enjoys the pleasures of a comfortable home and steady routine, you might find the present picture a little disconcerting. At the same time, you could be excited about the possibilities it holds for you. With a focus on expanding your horizons, events may conspire to take you in a new direction. You do not have to rush, though. A leisurely pace is just fine.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20): Although you might enjoy the freedom to flit around wherever you want, the cosmos may have other plans for you. With the present picture revealing a powerful emphasis on a more intense sector of your chart, you might need to face issues that involve some powerful emotions. And while it would be easier to do anything but confront them, once you do, you might find that layers of anxiety and buried tension begin to

peel away. Easy does it, though! mood and inquired angrily what I was doing at such a place. The driver semunhu mukuru wataive naye tried to explain but he would not have any of this. I was not drinking but I was suspected of such and this really sent him into a rage. Chakasara chine mudzimu wacho. I was falsely accused of cheating on my husband. I asked if we could go out so that I get time to explain. While we were out he clapped me twice in my face and our driver intervened. Ndakanyadziswa in front of workmates and other people. It is a long story but now my hubby is not believing this story. He insists that I tell him the truth. Vakanetsana nebrother yake because he thinks there is a reason why he clapped me. They are not talking and my mother-inlaw is up in arms with me, zvanzi waparadza vana vangu. There is a lot of tension and my parents are mad about babamukuru’s actions. They are saying I should go back home. I have two kids I am so confused, ndoita sei? My colleagues are shocked they do not understand all this. I am just tired of

noble. Accommodation is hard to come by. Family relationships are very important and should last a lifetime. If you and baba are so unhappy about it do not let this continue to tear you apart.

Have the candid talk with them as I suggested earlier sooner rather than later. If they think otherwise give them the stipulated notice time and let them look for alternate accommodation. They are majors and they can stand on their own two feet.

Please point out that it is not good for muroora to stop visiting your rural home when the children and their father do, it confuses the kids. Keep up the good work. Always remember there is immense power in prayer so many problems are solved amicably and without much effort. I wish you all the best.

do it after all.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22): If a creative project has been subject to delays lately, then Mercury’s forward motion can begin to make a difference. And if you have responsibilities at home that demand a lot of your time and energy, a positive alignment hints that you may already have found a way around this. This is good news for you, especially if you have your heart set on making one idea a complete success. Indeed, it may feel like a burden is gradually lifting from your shoulders.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 23): You and another may clash over very different ideas on how to tackle a family situation early this week. But with Mercury now resuming its forward motion, it should be easier to discuss this in a more rational and productive way. However, the Full Moon could whip up emotion and drama, so there is a chance that one or both of you could overreact. Allow time for your feelings to settle. It will be easier to find common ground if you do.

SCORPIO (October 24 to November 21): Plans you thought were set in stone could be disrupted, yet you might be pleased about this. If you must attend to responsibilities, you could feel like rebelling and doing your own thing instead.

And with the Full Moon encouraging you to leave your comfort zone, sticking with the status quo may seem like the more boring option. However, you might need to knuckle down and get those things done. You will be free to enjoy yourself once they are out of the way.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21): A focus on your home and family zone can be a time to stand back from life and enjoy spending time with those you love most.

While you may have big plans in the offing, you should still take the opportunity for some nurturing and self-care. It seems this is your time to unwind, enjoy a massage or spa treatment, and generally be good to yourself. Those projects you must finish will still be there after you have had a chance to recharge. explaining but my hubby keeps saying the day he will get the truth is the date he will show me what he is made of. Should I go to my parents’ house? Please assist. RESPONSE Thank you so much for writing in. my heart bleeds when people build storms from tea cups. Why have you complicated this issue to such an extent? Marriage is about trust if you cannot trust your significant other then you are not a good candidate for it. Your husband should take your word for it, you also have baba avo va driver who is trying his best to explain the matter. It is wrong for him to pin you down for going to a place that you did not know of.

I agree some places tarnish images and the likes but for this group he knows why they had gone there. From the letter I understand that you are a happy family, please keep it that way. Your hubby can speak to the driver and the rest of the team just to understand the story. Your brother in-law has no right whatsoever to clap you. That is domestic violence at its worst. Culturally vanotori baba because he is the elder brother. He is no better than rev- ellers who frequent that place, if it is such a junky establishment what was he doing there? Only animals fight when they are in conflict people talk and bury the hatchet. I do not think it is a good idea to go back home because it does not solve anything. Your parents are worried because they do not know how your hubby may react in the future considering the toll babamukuru’s outburst took on him.

Your brother in- law should be brought to book people have been killed or maimed because of such behaviour. I suggest you engage a professional counselor, I think your husband needs to calm down and listen. You can ask those who use public transport, bus rose rinonomiswa panzvimbo yakadai driver achinodya; how many families would fight over this?

You and your hubby should sort this mess out the rest of the family will follow suit. Please do not waste your time hapana kana nyaya apa. Babamukuru is off track he needs to go for anger management. Why is he crying more than the bereaved? Pray for your family. God will grant you your hearts’ desires. I would be happy to hear from you again.

cottage she would come into my room to watch movies or to pretend kuti ndibatsirewo nephone, laptops and so fourth. I used to call her mum but she told me to call her by her first name, Lydia, and I thought that was interesting. The next thing is she allowed me to use her ensuite when our communal bathroom was occupied. This is how it started she would take me to dinner and allow me to drive her car provided I was with her. One day we watched a horror movie in her bedroom until late when I was about to go to my room she whispered in my ear and she said “ndakutya kusara ndega”. From then on I moved into the main house and we lived as husband and wife. Her sons were not very keen with this arrangement because they are my age mates. Her daughters are very close to their mom so I do not know how they feel but from the looks of it they mind their own business. My parents have cut ties with me because I am staying with a sugar mummy and will not be able to give them grandkids. I am gainfully employed ndabhebhenuka I miss my family. I want to look for a true love, a girl who is of my age. My problem is chembere iyi ndakaidya and inochengera, how do I do this? I want my freedom and now for once I get ashamed when I am introduced as her sweetheart. She will kill me, I desperately need to leave her. I also want to let her enjoy her real age because vari kuzvibaya nekutamba chisikana for me. Vanopfeka tumini, tuvhudzi twe ginger ne tumagirazi pamhanza. Should I disappear? I am so unhappy I think she even senses it now. Do you think I will survive this?

RESPONSE Thank you for writing in. The best policy in life is to be true to yourself. For so many years you have been pretending to be in love with this woman because you wanted her resources, what a shame! Now that you got what you wanted you start calling her names. Marriage is about you, although, families are indirectly a part of it. You stayed as man and wife, in our culture it is called kubika mapoto and it is not a practice that is encouraged because it is not binding. You also need to be wary of diseases such as HIV and AIDS. From your letter I could tell that the lady is partly to blame because she imposed herself. Ultimately, however, it takes two to tango and you are also to blame. You got into this because unokara. Time is money and you should always put it to good use. This woman is a mother instead of spending her money on her children she spent it on you. Her sons did not embrace you because they knew what you were up to. For your information you both missed out on a lot of things. Please do not disappear get a counsellor and part with this woman on a good note. She will be disappointed but I think she has to understand that you cannot force someone to love you. To Lydia I say, stop imposing yourself on men, remember you were once in a relationship that ended in divorce. This confuses your children. If you are unhappy please do not continue to waste time. I do not think she will kill you, it is actually a blessing in disguise because she will no longer have to look after you. If she did not murder her former husband who helped her acquire this wealth you are now plundering surely she will not kill you. Family is important so go join hands with your family. Love is not about age it is about sincerity. Kushereketa oita kushoma, dating a woman who is your mother’s age in our culture kushaya matyira. I wish you well. Write to maichisamba@fbnet. co.zw or WhatsApp 0771415747.