The essence of weddings
woman. Genesis 2:24 says: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
In the world today we have men marrying men and women marrying women. In Zimbabwe it is still illegal for homosexual couples to marry, however some countries allow it.
We as Christians do not ascribe to homosexuality and believe that it is an ungodly practice. We hate the practice but show the love of God to the individual.
In order to understand the marriage process from a Christian perspective, we will explain it from three points of view.
First I will look at the cultural view. The verse we have just referred to (Gen 2:24) says a man leaves his father and mother. That means this person has a particular tribe that they are coming from.
Christ did not come to abolish our cultural practices but rather to fulfil the scriptures and deliver man from an ungodly and condemned life.
Hence the ungodly elements of our culture which include ancestral worship or idolatry is what we should no longer practice.
However, before Christ came we had our own cultural beliefs surrounding marriage. These typified our values and beliefs as a people.
Here in Zimbabwe as it is in most African countries, we practice the custom of the traditional bride price (lobola/roora). Naturally, some people abuse this practice but that is a topic for another day,
As Christians, we have to follow our culture to the best of our ability without compromising our positions in Christ.
Exodus 20:12 says, “Honour thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”
Hence the first step we have to fulfil is the cultural one and we have to honour it.
The second step is the legal one. Let me explain it from this perspective. Romans 13:1 says, “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers…”
Romans 13:3 also says: “For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil…” The point being that the rules and laws in a nation are there for a reason and every law abiding citizen should follow them.
As much as customary marriage is recognised in Zimbabwe, we as Christians should not just stop at the cultural process. In every nation there is a marriage act that covers numerous types of marriages - polygamous and monogamous. Each of these sections come with their own set of rules, rights and privileges.
It is very important for Christians to understand this because the type of marriage you get into protects you in the event of a death or a divorce.
Some women are tricked and find themselves customarily married to someone who is already married to someone else. Some get married to acquire residency status in foreign countries.
Christians are encouraged to get into a monogamous heterosexual union. One man-one wife, one woman-one man!
The third step is spiritual. Remember that marriage is God’s idea, not man’s invention. Hence God must be involved.
Most young people will go for a very expensive and flashy wedding that leaves them in debt. Some do this because they are in competition with their peers, some do it to impress their parents while others are concerned with status.
The marriage is far more important and requires more effort than the wedding day itself.
Therefore, a church wedding does not necessarily have to be one big party where the whole world is invited. The whole point is to have a spiritual representative of God to bless your union.
As a Christian, when you only get married culturally or legally, you have not completed the process if you do not take the spiritual step.
If you intend to get married soon, sit down with your pastor/priest and get a clear picture. It is actually possible for all these three steps to be completed at once on the day you go to pay lobola/roora.
Christians should only start living together after all three processes have been completed.
We need godly marriages so we can have godly families that will result in a godly nation.
Till next time, take care and God bless. Tinashe Zinyemba is a pastor with New Life Covenant Church. Email feedback to tinashezinyemba@yahoo.com