When society conspires to breed monsters

MS Sekai Munaku (not her real name) is a prisoner of unenviable circumstances. She is also scarred both physically and psychologically.

Over the past 14 years, the 32-year-old woman has lost a tooth and also carries a permanent injury on her leg, which looks like an indelible tattoo to painfully remind her of the permanence of her situation. Every time she shares her experiences, tears begin to well up in her eyes, but not from the pain, but the impotence of extricating herself from her situation.

She actually lives with a monster, which views her as a baby-making machine and a convenient punching bag.

“Every day, we cannot sleep peacefully. The moment he comes back home, we are all scared. When he chases me out, I have insisted on my kids remaining, but they refuse because they also fear him,” she said.

“We have slept in an open pit nearby before, out of desperation. And we only returned to the house at daybreak after he had left for work.”

She tried roping in her mother-in-law, but the latter sided with her son.

If anything, the beatings actually increased in regularity and intensity.

Relatives who sympathised with the mother-of-three advised her to make a police report.

Having him arrested, they reasoned, would help tame the raging beast.

She claims she approached the police five times. The long-drawn-out process was unfortunately futile.

Initially, her husband refused to turn up. Police later advised her to apply for a peace order.

However, when her husband finally turned up, he agreed to reform, which convinced the aggrieved woman to withdraw her case.

How wrong she was.

The beatings continued.

Neglect and trauma

Worryingly, the abuse is now spilling over to the couple’s children as well.

They do not have birth certificates and their fees are not being paid.

But it is the effect of the trauma that has become more telling, she says.

“I see that this life of violence affects my children. He speaks foul language in their presence . . . The girl, I noticed, does not associate with other schoolchildren and she is always quiet . . .

“But I cannot do anything. I would like to leave him, but I need a source of income because I cannot leave my children.”

Ms Munaku does not have anyone to cry to — she is an orphan.

Her grandmother also told her it would be a bad idea to divorce her husband. And now, she is trapped.

She is not the only one.

The latest Zimbabwe Demographic and Health Survey notes that authorities generally consider domestic violence to be a private matter.

It claims 35 percent of ever-married women aged between 15 and 49 have

experienced spousal violence (physical or sexual violence committed by their husband/partner).

Abuse by a husband or partner is considered the most common form of gender-based violence.

Encouragingly, domestic violence cases that have been brought before the courts in Harare and its satellite towns dropped in the first six months of this year.

Official statistics from the Judicial Service Commission (JSC) indicate that while 1 000 cases of domestic violence were heard before the Harare Magistrates’ Courts in the six-month period to June,

they represent a 14 percent drop from the 1 160 cases in the same period last year.

Most domestic violence cases — 403 — were heard at the Mbare Magistrates’ Courts. Overall, the reported cases resulted in 446 convictions and 176 acquittals.

Some of the cases are still pending.

Empowerment

But Ms Vongai Marime, who is spearheading a project to help victims of gender-based violence by training them to make handbags, is willing to help Ms Munaku.

She has already been put through basic training.

“This is an initiative that I found helpful, to train women in general, survivors and victims of GBV who stay with men out of fear because they feel they have no way of escaping their predicament,” Ms Marime said.

Forum for African Women Educationalists Zimbabwe (Fawezi) national coordinator Ms Lydia Madyirapanze said there are various reasons that keep women in abusive relationships.

“Women need empowerment through counselling, education, health services, social support, recreational activities and others to generate income.

“Empower women to be able to make such decisions and stand by them, help them overcome fear of the unknown, connect them with other women who were in similar circumstances and were able to let go, help them to see the emotional costs of remaining in such situations and how it affects their children, now and in future,” she said.

From November 25, the world has been observing the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence.

Zimbabwe is observing the campaign under the theme “Prevention, Protection, Participation and Service”.