Rejected, but not ejected
KNOCK with confidence and do not run away if the answer delays. Do not give up because the answer is long in coming. Do not allow any rejection to seep into your spirit and to kill your motivation. Stand up to the fight and give yourself any chance. Stand up and fight even when you are hardest hit.
There is something powerful, durable and strong in you. Greatness is moving from disappointment to disappointment without losing your resolve to win or your enthusiasm to fight. I have had to live through this cloud many times.
I knocked with excitement and did not know that a life lesson was waiting for me. I knocked confidently and expectantly clutching book under my arm. I knew I had a friend and customer. I expected that I would go home with one more sale. What could stop me?
The book had taken me three years to write, review and finally get in print. It was my virgin attempt at writing. I had been stretched and stumbled along the way and finally my dream was on course. Greatness has its stations. Each station you face is a challenge pregnant with learning and memories.
No memory is ever useless. Do not use any memory to torment yourself. Learn what you can, do what you can, but never park in the past.
Gently, I opened the door and after a few pleasantries with this old colleague, I placed with a big grin my glowing crimson book on the table. I was sure she would be inspired and supportive. I knew she would buy the book if not for the contents, to support a colleague. I should have known better.
Wisdom comes with experience
“What is that?” She asked, as she glanced at the cover of the book without even touching the book.
“My book, ‘It’s Time to Unleash Your Greatness” proceeding to add “You will definitely be inspired and motivated”.
There was a brief and uncomfortable pause that I had not expected. I had not expected what came next from this colleague that I had worked with before I resigned. She curtly looked at me as she handed me back my book and blurted: “Just show me one great thing that you have done and I will buy your book!” What? What do you mean?
I tried to explain that just writing the book was an achievement in itself. She would not hear a word of it. She was not impressed at all. She charged, “Go do one great thing you call great, come back and I will be a customer — ready to unleash my greatness.”
I swallowed hard and I was stunned. I had not expected that a colleague that I had worked with would give me a flat-go-awayfrom-here response. The distance to the door felt like a mile and a half. I was gutted and disappointed. I felt my world shrink, but I did not stop. It was the year 2003, my journey inspiring people had just begun, but it had not ended.
I am sure you have also faced your generous portions of disappointment, despair and rejections. When doors are slammed in your face do not run. When your world seems to have crumbled, do not crumble in despair. Keep it all in good perspective.
Do not take rejection personally. People say and do things based on what they feel and see at the time.
Many that see you do not see your dreams. Many that hear your voice, cannot sense what is in your heart.
Usually they cannot see the expanse of your vision and depth of your potential. Never allow someone’s irresponsible comment stop you. Remain grounded and never shifting.
Process NO!
The journey to greatness is not paved with yes-yes-yes signs only. There are a number delays, disappointments, and other challenges along the way.
Every time you get a “no” do not give up or take it personally. Do not let any negativity seep into your spirit. It is your dream, not a popularity contest. Love the sound of the word “no”.
Every time you get a “no” you are closer to a yes. Face the brutal realities of your situation, but keep the faith that in the end you will prevail. Do not let the sound of that word terrify you, let it excite you.
The word “no” is actually a greatness acronym that means “Next Opportunity”. Whenever you get a no, keep in the game and find the next opportunity.
When a door is slammed in your face do not fret, keep knocking. Keep knowing until the door is open or until you take a lunch break. When others say no to you, do not give up, go away or grow bitter. “No” is a test of your resolve, commitment and faith. Every “No” that you get is positioning you for the next yes!
How many
Every rejection that you face has a number. It has a limited life and count. Do not be disappointed at the size of the number, just keep looking at the goal and end game.
Stay put until your answer comes. Keep counting, fighting and thinking. To get my driver’s licence I counted 13 rejections. Every time I would get the feedback form from the examiner, I used this to improve my driving.
I would get back home disappointed, but never deterred.
How many rejections does it take to stop you? Rejection is a test of your tenacity and desire. It is a fitness test for your resolve. Stick to the fight when you are hardest hit.
Stick to the knitting. Keep at it until you get there. Never forget that every rejection has a number. If you get enough rejections, you will eventually have to get a resounding YES!
Let them laugh
Never be intimidated by other people’s laughs and jeers. Try until you win. Some people laugh because they think you are attempting the impossible.
Others laugh because they are addicted to mediocrity. Let those who laugh, go ahead, but that should never stop you from moving ahead.
Those who laugh at you today, will be praising you tomorrow. Do not give up.
I watched as my daughter, Muvaki, was learning how to walk. She would waddle for a few steps then fall down and start laughing her lungs out. For a moment it looked as though she would never walk. I was getting worried myself. Yet, for her it was all a game.
She made it a resilience game. She was determined to try and laugh until she walked. She did not wait for us to laugh at her, she would laugh at herself and keep trying. We can all borrow that attitude to challenges: laugh at them, get up and keep going.
When you are rejected or when you fail do not wait for other people to laugh at you, laugh at yourself. Get up and take action. You are born for greatness and destined for great things. Do not take yourself too seriously.
Laugh and take another attempt. As you laugh, in time the whole world will laugh with you.
What if other people laugh at you? It’s painful, but you are better off sticking with what you can control. Let them laugh!
Keep your focus and keep reaching for great things.
Other people’s jeers cannot be more important than your destiny. Your goals are more important than other people’s jeers. Other people’s opinions are not as important as your own opinions about yourself and your dreams of greatness. You will have your chance to laugh with life.
What if you feel shaken and afraid? That is normal, it shows that you have not died yet. Find your focus and energy and march forward.
Do whatever restores your drive and passion in the face of rejection. If you need to pray, pray through. If you need a break, take the break. If you need to speak to someone, find the right person to speak to.
If you need to stand up again, stand up and punch again. Just do not lose your drive, faith and enthusiasm. Keep trying until you succeed.
◆ Milton Kamwendo is a leading international transformational and motivational speaker, author, and a virtual, hybrid and in-person workshop facilitator. He is a cutting-edge strategy, team-building and organisation development facilitator and consultant. His life purpose is to inspire and promote greatness. He can be reached at: mkamwendo@gmail.com and His website is: www.miltonkamwendo.com