The best form of revenge

WHAT happened? “REVENGE is sour”, is a statement that I came across the most, during this past week.

The year has just begun and why would people talk about revenge more than anything else?

“One day I am going to hurt you; I promise,” said one gentleman.

I got very concerned and I then engaged some of the people who were swearing revenge in their discussions.

Some had been hurt by their spouses, some by their colleagues at work, neighbours, church mates, friends, business partners and many others.

I realised that most of the pain that we endure in life comes from people we are related to or those we associate with in one way or the other.

Rarely, does one hold a grudge over a stranger.

But why?

Why would someone talk of plans for meting revenge more than success or business plans?

Is that normal?

I believe this is the reason why only a few people manage to live a purpose-driven and fulfilling life.

Many of us place most of our energy and focus on things that only waste our time and resources.

Sadly, by the time we realise that we are chasing the wind, we would have lost so much already and this may bring more bitterness and hatred.

Have you ever come across someone who resents you but does not know you personally?

You are left to wonder how you may have wronged that person.

I have been to places where I was a total stranger and came across people who expressed feelings of hatred towards me through facial expressions and actions.

This shows what a person carries inside their hearts.

Moving along with hatred, anger and bitterness may lead you to expressing resentment to the wrong people and this may expose you to more hurt.

Hatred, anger, bitterness and revenge are all negative feelings and any person who harbours these feelings suffers more.

The challenge!

I believe that the best exercise for a human soul is foregoing revenge.

If people hurt you, take those bricks they threw at you and use them to build a firm foundation.

Let the bricks be the cornerstone of your empire.

Meting out revenge, in most cases, will not make you feel better.

Revenge may seem like it can provide relief from pain, but truth be told, that feeling will not last.

For instance, if you do not have money, you may remain broke after dispensing revenging and people may continue talking negatively about you.

Others continue feeling empty and lonely even after revenging.

Some might still experience rejection and pain after revenging.

For instance, if your spouse cheats on you and infects you with a sexually transmitted infection, even if you retaliate, you will remain with the STI until you get medical help.

Another example is that of a friend who talks bad about you, even if you talk bad about that friend as a form of revenge, you will still feel the pain of what would have been said.

Revenge does not guarantee happiness, joy, success or fulfilment.

How about giving someone positive revenge?

Success is the best revenge

An extract from my book, Born to Fight reads, “My childhood was challenging, and life was difficult . . . my siblings and I were the poorest family on the street.

“Most of the other families around us were doing well, and so they looked down on us.

“They mocked us for being poor and called us all sorts of names, including lazy.

“It wasn’t easy.

“However, these malicious and distasteful comments drove my siblings and I to work hard in life . . . We set our values and principles in place, we came up with strategies for pursuing our goals . . . Today all seven of us are doing well . . .”

People will always have negative things to say about you, however, achieving success will eventually shut them up.

Let success be the best form of revenge.

Give up on negative revenge battles in order to make room for fights that are worth fighting; those that come with victories that will bring benefit to your life.

Whenever you are hurt, always take a few steps back and think of strategies and plans to fight back through ways that will give you victory and change your life for the better and bring you fulfilment.

I know that for some, revenge sounds fulfilling because they enjoy seeing the offending person suffer.

However, in most cases that feeling is short-lived.

Keep your cool! Sometimes all you need to do is to keep your head down.

Allow them to think that you have nothing going on well in your life.

Before they realise it, you will sprout out and shine.

That is more fulfilling than wasting energy on revenge that causes others pain without improving your life.

Do not focus on those who caused you pain.

Know that your success causes them more pain than anything else.

Instead of teaching someone a lesson when they do you wrong, consider teaching yourself a lesson instead.

Revenge only keeps you physically connected to the offending individual in a negative way.

Release yourself from that connection through forgiveness.

A man who puts his energy on revenge only helps to keep his wounds fresh.

One Greek proverb says: “What is the best revenge you could ever do to the one who broke your heart? Nothing, just let that person see that you are happy without him.”

Nelson Mandela once said, “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin or background, or his religion. People must learn to hate and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” My advice!

In 2022, be challenged to do something unique like letting go of feelings of revenge.

Be encouraged to forgive, love and work on improving yourself in the area where you were hurt instead.

Be inspired to see things from a different perspective and to make a difference.