The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Actress Fay Ripley

Best known for her role as Jenny Gifford in Cold Feet (which returns to ITV next week), Fay Ripley, 53, is also the author of three cookery books. Married to Australian actor daniel lapaine, she lives in london and Whitstable, Kent, with their teenage son and daughter.

IT’S OK TO BRUSH IT ALL UNDER THE CARPET

I know this is a bit unconventional, but my approach to life, something I learned from my mother, is what I would call a brush-it-under-the-carpet technique. I don’t recommend it to anyone else, but it works for me.

I’ll give you an example. I used to go into department store changing rooms, try on something, catch glimpses of myself in my big pants and then beat myself up and go on a diet.

not any more. As soon as I go into a changing room these days, I close my eyes and put on whatever it is I’m thinking of buying. Then I open them and I don’t look too bad.

I also tend to do that emotionally. Distraction is the name of the game.

So, if one of the children had, say, a meltdown in the playground, instead of drawing attention to it, I might have said: ‘Goodness me, there’s a squirrel!’ There was never a squirrel, but it stopped them crying immediately.

My ‘squirrel’ these days is likely to be a handbag. why worry about that thing I was worrying about? why not buy a handbag instead?

I occasionally apply this technique to bigger stuff. My father died a year ago and I’ve deliberately pushed my feelings under the carpet.

Anyone reading that will probably think: ‘This woman is heading for the edge of a cliff.’ But I’m doing it on purpose. It buys me time until that moment when I can confront the grief on my terms. I don’t want to be hit by a tsunami.

I know how lucky I am. So I need to enjoy every day for what it is. It would be a waste for me to allow things to upset my applecart.

I was two when my parents divorced. I had a perfectly nice childhood, but I did acquire the habit of self-sufficiency from a young age. My attitude to life, therefore, comes from a coping technique.

Cold Feet returns to ITV on Monday, January 13.