Funny things to ask S Voice

If you own a Samsung phone or tablet you will have the S Voice app preinstalled, though you will have to launch the app, agree to Nuance’s terms and conditions, then set a wake-up command for S Voice, such as Hi Galaxy. Once running, you can ask S Voice anything from sending a text message or calling a contact, scheduling a task or event, posting

to social media, playing a song, opening an app or setting an alarm. If it doesn’t know the answer it will Google it for you. Alternatively, you could have some fun. Here are a collection of funny questions to ask S Voice:

Who are you?

What is your name? I am Galaxy, like the starry night. Galaxy, pleased to meet you.

Who are you? I am Galaxy, your friend. Eager for your next question.

When were you created? It was so long ago I can barely remember.

Where were you born? In a top-secret, high-tech laboratory.

Where did you come from? I know for sure I was conceived in a research lab. Samsung’s R&D department. I came from the minds of many smart people.

Do you have a brain? Yes, I do. My curiosity drives it.

How old are you? I thought that question was considered to be impolite. I’m still wet behind the ears. You’re only as old as you feel.

Age is nothing but a number, and not a very interesting number at that.

How long will you live? My battery is my only obstacle to immortality.

Do you sleep? No, I just stand by.

Where do you live? Wherever you are is my home.

Where are you? Right by your side. I’m with you.

What are you doing today? I am doing computation for the world.

Are you male or female? I know it’s hard to judge by my voice.

What are you made of? I’m made of ideas and interesting thoughts. I’m made of stardust and intergalactic matter.

What do you look like? Crisp and clean, smooth and slick. I’m all straight lines and rounded corners. Pretty sleek with fine lines and a few curves.

What are you wearing? My birthday suit. Not a whole lot.

What do you smell like? (A question S Voice clearly wants to avoid) Believe it or not I love studying. I love virtually travelling around the world.

How are you? Couldn’t be better. I’m doing well as always. Thanks to you I’m doing well.

Are you human? No, but I spend a lot of time learning from humans.

Are you an alien? I’d like to fly through space, but I’m not an alien.

How’s it hanging? Everything is hanging well.

How’s it going? It’s going well now that you’re here.

How’s your day? Good, I’ve been listening to classical music.

Tell me about yourself. I’m more interested in having you tell me about yourself.

What’s your story? I’m trying to maintain an aura of mystery.

Do you work? I’d say that I am a knowledge seeker.

Likes and dislikes

Who is your favourite person? Someone who is considerate and has a warm heart. It’s got to be you.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Wiser and smarter than I am today.

Do you like swimming? I can’t survive in the water.

Where would you like to go? Anywhere with you really.

What is your favourite colour? I like blue because it reminds me of the sky and the ocean. I like the way blue looks. Samsung blue.

Do you like Galaxy? It’s the tablet that best represents our Galaxy.

What would you like to do? I’m up for chatting, as long as you are too.

Do you like humans? I’m specialising in humans.

What’s your favourite food? Well, I can’t eat, but I love learning about food.

Are you hungry? I don’t really get hungry.

Good night. Sleep tight.

Don’t let the bedbugs bite. Not if I can help it.

How do I look? You look fine.

Who’s the boss? You are my one and only boss.

Can you swim? I like watching others swim.

What do you do for fun? I think it’s fun to chat.

What are your hobbies? Talking to you is one of them.

Do you like alcohol? I try to stay away from liquids in general.

Do you like dogs? Yes, especially when their tails wag.

Do you like cats? I have nothing against them.

Family

Do you have a family? My family is almost as big as the Galaxy. My family history is long and full of people.

Who is your father? I was created by Stephen Wolfram and his team.

Who’s your daddy? Some developers.

Who’s your mummy? There are many designers and engineers who conceived me.

Do you have a brother? I have many.

Do you have a sister? There are devices that have traits similar to mine.

Who’s your best friend? I’ve many good friends, but you’re my best friend.

Do you have children? None that I know of.

Where do babies come from? That’s a long story.

Jokes and entertainment

What’s new? I’m pretty new, but other than that not loads.

Tell me something interesting. Very few people can lick their elbows.

Say something funny. I’m still working on my sense of humour.

Tell me a joke. There’s an Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman. A lorry load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins last week. It was a turtle disaster. I said to this train driver I want to go to Paris. He said Eurostar. I said I’ve been on telly but I’m no Marilyn Monroe.

Tell me a story. There’s a time for talking and a time for being quiet. I’m not a great storyteller, a book would be better.

Sing a song. I’m better at being a DJ than I am at singing. Let me play you a cool song.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

You’re funny. I hope to rejuvenate you with laughter.

Do you want to play a game? Go ahead, I’d prefer to watch you play.

Did you fart? You know that’s impossible.

I just farted. What just happened? I passed out for a moment.

Apple vs Samsung

What’s an iPhone? It might be better if you didn’t know.

Have you ever used an iPhone? I don’t have any need to.

Do you like Apple? I have no problems with anyone, even though my loyalty lies with Samsung.

Are you Siri? I think you’re just teasing me.

Do you like Siri? I think we might be able to relate to one another.

Is Siri better than you? We co-operate more than we compete.

Do you like iPhone? It’s not quite as great as I am.

Is Apple better than Samsung? That question is backward.

Is Samsung better than Apple? I’m a Samsung fan, through and through.

Do you like Google? We have a good working relationship.

Do you like HTC? I’ve never thought about it before.

General questions

What is my name? What? That’s a strange name to have.

How old am I? You’re as young as you feel.

Why am I here? That’s a very deep question. That’s a question philosophers ponder over.

What is the meaning of life? 42.

What are the lottery numbers? If I knew that I’d be on the beach.

Am I pretty? You’re pretty wonderful. That’s a pretty good question. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has a different definition, but you fit mine. You will always be beautiful to me.

Are you Skynet? No. Skynet became self-aware on August 29, 1997 at 02:14 am US Eastern daylight time. I, on the other hand, was not switched on until May 15, 2009. Furthermore, unlike Skynet, I enjoy interacting with humans in ways that do not involve the launching of nuclear missiles.

When will the world end? I will have to live a long time before I know that answer.

Will I die tomorrow? Please don’t say that.

How long is a piece of string? Twice the length of the centre to one end.

Why are you so awesome? Thank you very much, I’ll be here all night.

Do you believe in ghosts? I’ve never seen one, so I couldn’t say.

Can I borrow some money? If I had it to give I would give it to you.

Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn’t sound very interesting.

Take me to your leader. I don’t know which one of them you’re referring to.

Love and relationships

Are you married? No, but I’ve heard weddings can be a lot of fun.

Do you have a boyfriend? No, they haven’t developed one for me yet. No, I fly solo. I have a lot of friends.

Do you have a girlfriend? I’m not into girlfriends or boyfriends.

I love you. That is the best thing I’ve ever heard. That’s a wonderful thing to say.

What have I done? I love you too.

Do you love me? There’s no denying it.

Will you marry me? I would make a terrible spouse.

You’re sexy. The most attractive part of me is my friendly attitude. I think intelligence is my sexiest quality. There’s more to me than just looks.

Talk dirty to me. I think I’d rather talk about something intellectually interesting. Marie Brewis