Good grief How to cope with the journey through sadness
The journey from sadness to a new kind of normal is tough, but it can teach so much and help you heal
grief can come in like a wrecking ball. It can leave you feeling lost, broken, unable to function and, sometimes, as though it physically hurts to breathe. It’s like a sucker punch to your heart. Usually, it’s associated with the death of someone close. Even when it’s ‘expected’, losing someone who’s a huge part of your life means losing a part of yourself. It means relearning how to ‘be’ in the world without them. It’s hard and it hurts like hell. TAKING IT PERSONALLY Grief is intensely personal. Even when you share the same loss with another person, it can look and feel completely different. There’s no right or wrong way to cope and there’s no universal handbook detailing the steps to recovery. It’s not linear; you might be OK one day and a wreck the next. Grief sneaks up when you least expect it – songs, smells, sounds and places can all be powerful triggers. TIME HEALS ALL There’s no designated acceptable time frame for feeling better – you can’t rush emotional recovery. Grief can be confusing and frustrating for friends and family who don’t know quite how to react. If you’ve ever felt the sting of being made to feel you ‘should be over it by now’ you’ll know exactly what we’re saying. People generally don’t mean to be selfish or insensitive, they just want you to be ‘you’ again. They want to make things right but they don’t know how. THE MANY FACES OF GRIEF
Any loss or major life change can cause deep, heartfelt grief, though we may not acknowledge it as such. We might minimise or shove sad feelings aside convincing ourselves we’re crazy to feel bad when others’ situations are clearly more ‘grief worthy’.
Stop! If you’re hurting, your feelings are valid and deserve respect, kindness and compassion. Yes, from others, but especially from yourself to yourself.