Detox for a healthy life

A doormat you are not. Time to ditch that look and slip on something a little more sassy

look, it’s ok to be nice. Desirable even. Nice people are friendly, generous, kind, fun to hang out with and all that good stuff. What’s less ok is being ‘too’ nice; there’s a line and once you cross it, things get tricky. LEARN TO PLEASE YOURSELF If you’re ‘too nice’ you’re probably a perpetual people pleaser which leaves you vulnerable to being fleeced by folk who aren’t nice enough; in other words, they’ll take advantage of your good nature. Nasty.

But what’s the chance you’ve unwittingly created a rod for your own back? For many of us, the desire to be liked and needed is strong. We can come to define ourselves in terms of how much we can give and what we can do for others, while neglecting to be generous to our own good selves.

Being considered so trustworthy and reliable that others feel comfortable calling you when in need? Great. Feeling like a doormat? Not so great.

IS IT A PROBLEM?

If you’re walking through the world feeling secretly resentful, angry or hurt, it’s a problem! If you routinely find yourself muttering passive aggressive comments under your breath (‘don’t worry about me, I’m fine, you stay right where you are, don’t trouble yourself!’) then you’ve gone past nice and are headed to martyrdom! So yep, a problem.

WHY IS IT SO?

Fear of rejection, guilt, dislike of confrontation, lack of confidence and low self-esteem can all be powerful underlying – but ultimately self-defeating – reasons why you might bend too far backwards.

If you can tap into what lies beneath, you can begin to fix it.

Pay attention when people react with anger and hostility to your boundaries. You have found the edge where their respect for you ends UNKNOWN

NO!