‡ Exclusive interview A chat with author Gretel Killeen

Best-selling author Gretel Killeen turns real-life inspiration into a poignant, moving and hilarious exploration of mother-daughter relationships

Mothers, daughters and the ties that bind them have long been fertile ground for storytellers. Throw nuptials into the mix, as Gretel Killeen does in My Daughter’s Wedding, and you can only be certain of one thing – the path to true love, in all its guises, never runs smoothly.

Billed as a ‘heart-aching comedy’, the diary-style novel finds its voice in Nora, a middle-aged mum who’s daughter Hope cut off all contact four years ago – no warning, no explanation. Then one day, she calls: “I’m coming home, I’m getting married, the wedding is in three weeks and it’s your job to organise it”. So begins a hi-jinxed journey to “I do”.

RELATIONSHIPS IN FOCUS

Gretel says the jumping-off point for the tale – which adds a third generation in Nora’s emotionally repressed mother Daphne – was reality, after her daughter wed and her mum had a fall, prompting reflections on both relationships. It was also a chance to explore a question with no easy answer: “What is this mother-daughter love? Why is it so intense?”

The end result is a nuanced slice of life – the joy we find in the everyday, the barriers we build around ourselves, the vulnerability of giving and receiving love, and the power of friends, all told with vivid whimsy, from a best friend ‘found’ in a taxi to the joys of a Double Wine (a whine with a wine).

The book also highlights the nature of forgiveness – and acceptance. “It’s about the fact you never reach a happy, perfect place,” says Gretel. “As soon as you get there, you look from the top of that hill and there’s another valley, and that’s the way life is, and I think we disallow, sometimes, the ebb and flow of life. And also, there are relationships in our life that will always be there, and we have to allow them to kind of be like the weather – sometimes they’re a bit stormy, or they’re sunny, and they just are.”

A LOVE LETTER TO MOTHERS AND MOTHERHOOD

My Daughter’s Wedding also reads as a love letter to mums, so often seen as one-dimensional, mere extensions of their family, or figures of fun, something that helped fuel the book. “I was watching late night TV or something... and it was ‘Silly texts my mum sent’, or something along those lines, and I thought ‘Why are mums treated like they’re fools?’” says Gretel. “What we achieve, a lot of it as mums, is the rudimentaries of life, but they’re not. It’s the cake, not the cream on the cake, often, and we don’t get glory for it. But ridicule is a completely different thing. So I think I wanted to wave the flag for motherhood as well.” Which circles back to the book’s core – mothers, daughters and the simplicity, and power, of “I’m sorry”. As to who says it, and the reaction – that’s for you to read and find out!

My Daughter’s Wedding (Hachette, $32.99) from all good book stores.

I THINK THAT WE DISALLOW SOMETIMES THE EBB AND FLOW OF LIFE