Country Squire
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE FROM THE STICKS, ACCORDING TO ROB INGRAM.
OUT OUR WAY we have more Abbotts than the entire Order of Saint Benedict. OK, ours are two-t Abbotts, but that’s not all that makes them superior. Dunedoo without Abbotts would be like Alice Springs without Alice. There’s John Abbott and Jack Abbott and Ed Abbott. Heidi Abbott, Sharyn Abbott, Brian Abbott and Jason Abbott. The Leadville Abbotts and the Elong Abbotts. Any more Abbotts and we’d need to build an Abbott Proof Fence. Dunedoo wouldn’t have the character and characters it has today if it wasn’t for the Abbotts. At the top of the podium, you’d have to place Maria Abbott. She recently retired as a much-loved teacher at Dunedoo Central School. From her second year as a teacher till the last day of her teaching career, she talked the talk, walked the walk — hell, even chalked the chalk — at Dunedoo Central School. Maria not only helped shape Dunedoo and its population, she then defined it with a classic Facebook page: You Know You’re From Dunedoo If… Well, it didn’t take long for someone to post “…if you were taught by Mrs Abbott.” The Dunedoo ‘lifers’ responded with an avalanche of local quips, and perhaps my favourite was “…if you know that stubbies are both something you can wear and drink from — frequently at the same time”. I’m still on my P plates as a local, so it would have been presumptuous for me to contribute. But, the ‘You Know You’re From’ concept inspired me to focus my observations on what makes life out here different. Maria Abbott’s Dunedoo version was almost entirely affectionate and made us all realise how lucky we are to live here. But now let’s consider those less fortunate. You know you’re from the sticks if… your wardrobe includes more than three shirts with the sleeves ripped off. If directions to your house include “Turn off the sealed road at [insert nondescript landmark]…” If your car’s indicator has been on since you first drove it out of the showroom. If you’ve been involved in a custody battle over a piggin’ dog. If, for a special occasion dinner, you’ve had to choose between the BP diner and the Caltex roadhouse. If you think three of the primary colours are John Deere green, Ford blue and Toyota ute white. If you’ve ever enjoyed a smorgasbord at the Acropolis Chinese Restaurant. If your wife’s job requires her to wear a high-vis orange vest. If you favourite artwork is a luminous painting on velvet. If your television is bigger than your bookcase. If you own a house that is mobile and five cars that aren’t. If your phone book has one yellow page. If your wife/sister/mother’s new hairdo has ever been wrecked by a ceiling fan. If you spent more money on your ute than your education. If more than one member of your family is named after a character from daytime television. If the Show Queen is regarded as royalty in your town. If you call the wrong number and the person who answers the telephone can give you the right one. If you know the names of all the dogs in town… and they all know you, too. If your town’s major landmarks are the bowlo, the servo and the silo. But despite all this, it’s important to remember one thing — people who live in the city miss the things that small town folks never lost.
STUBBIES ARE SOMETHING YOU CAN WEAR AND DRINK FROM — FREQUENTLY AT THE SAME TIME.