Country Squire

LIFE ON THE LAND IS NO FAIRYTALE, SAYS ROB INGRAM, BUT FARMERS DO LOVE AND CARE FOR THEIR LIVESTOCK.

I CAN GUESS WHAT THEY’RE THINKING. The city family driving through the countryside. Windows up. Collars up. Defences up. Their uncomfortable body language says, “We know we’re in enemy territory and we don’t want to stop until we reach metropolitan civilisation.” I can pick them — and not just because their bumper sticker says My Little Pony rather than Casino Beef Week May 18th–28th like the locals. At the crux of it, they believe the countryside is full of delightful, innocent little animals and that all of rural Australia is one vast slaughterhouse. From early on they’ve been taught that the creeks and fields of the countryside provide the enchanting habitat of their lifelong friends — Mr Toad and Ratty, Reynard the Fox, The Three Little Pigs, Hattie the hen, Chicken Little, Shaun the Sheep and a cow called Moo. These are friendships that have lasted a lifetime. But now they know that their bright-eyed companions lasted only as long in the countryside as it took the ‘evil’ farming folk to load their guns, lay their bait and round them up for the trip to the abattoir. And the city family will be pretty sure that somewhere among the millions of rotting fish around the shores of the Menindee Lakes, they’ll find dear little stripey Nemo — taken from us too soon. To them, the enchanting creeks and fields have now become the killing fields, the macabre meatworks as it was, for all their favourite city restaurants… which they conveniently leave out of the equation. (“Hey Mum, does this burger contain traces of Ferdinand the Bull?”) The sympathy doesn’t extend as far as Itsy Bitsy Spider, but the venison producers are talking about a marketing hurdle called The Bambi Factor. Bambi with the big, moist eyes and long lashes is an image that has cost them big time. In fact, in Britain veal production once pulled such a twang on the public’s heartstrings that producers had to create a new market sector labelled as ethical veal. But these are the facts. In Australia we have strict state and territory legislation governing animal welfare and meat production. The National Farmers’ Federation, the peak body for farmers, says that good animal welfare is consistent with good farming practices because high-quality agricultural products require healthy animals and excellence in animal care. They insist farmers are strong advocates of good animal health and welfare outcomes. Still not convinced? Well, I’ve just received some photos from a successful local farming family’s coastal holiday. The family recently grew with the addition of Murphy, an orphaned lamb who was in need of bottle-feeding. Murphy’s arrival coincided with the beach holiday booked some months before. What to do? Room was found for Murphy down behind the driver’s seat and off they all set. The holiday pictures show Murphy in the pool with Bella; Murphy in a high-speed race along the sand with Hughie; and Murphy nibbling on a bit of saltbush. (“Wow,” he says. “Beaches are neat. They have everything!”) Murf wasn’t too sure of the ocean. It moved with no visible sign of propulsion. So he stayed pretty close to his beach towel. He attracted the attention of the beach patrol… but they apparently figured the ‘No dogs allowed’ rule couldn’t possibly apply to a lamb. So you see, the city family doesn’t need to worry about our farm animals. Murf provided much of the joy during his farming family’s beach holiday — and I have a feeling he will never share the table with mint sauce. They’ve even already asked him where he’d like to go for holidays next year. I’m pretty sure he said the Baaa-hamas.

THE FAMILY RECENTLY GREW WITH THE ADDITION OF MURPHY, AN ORPHANED LAMB WHO WAS IN NEED OF BOTTLE-FEEDING.