A Day in the Country: Chris Ferguson reveals that, on balance, she is enjoying her 50s.
LOOKING BACK OVER HER LIFE, CHRIS FERGUSON IS FINDING HER FIFTIES TO BE A PLEASANT SURPRISE.
ALTHOUGH THERE IS an obvious danger in generalisations, I want to say to those finding life tough throughout their 20s, 30s or even 40s; hold fast, it gets better.
In her book Happy, Amanda Talbot describes lifetime happiness trends as a smile. She says that in general people are happiest in their youth, with joy dipping in middle age and then lifting again around the 50s. There are, of course, myriad of personal situations that affect our individual happiness, but I’ve rolled into my 50s thinking that the happiness curve may just be right.
This contentment has come as a pleasant surprise amid the flurry and worry of a rip-roaring drought and consequently, a business on the edge. And while this situation is stressful, I’m reminded of the saying: ‘This ain’t my first rodeo.’
Today we speak of resilience when what we’re really talking about is experience. In my 50-odd years there have been many obstacles that I’ve clambered awkwardly over, humiliations that I thought I could never recover from and moments of devastation that left me questioning the point of life. We go out into the world and experience sorrow, joy and despair and not only do we survive, but we grow despite or, perhaps, because of it all. With every storm that life throws at us we are pared back a little further, the fluff and nonsense is blown away, leaving room for us to grow into our own individual truths.
My friends agree that getting older is better than expected. We hold our tribe closer and find joy in the places we once overlooked. We know what is important to us, and make no apology for it. We are less likely to suffer the fools that once would have caused us angst.
When I look back on photos of young me, I remember how hard I was on myself when what I needed was kindness. It would have served me well to cut myself some slack and understand that we are, all of us, just doing the best we can.
In my 20s it seemed that the path of my life stretched endlessly over the horizon, that what I wanted to do, and who I wanted to be, were impossible to achieve. It’s probable that there are now more years behind me than ahead, and thankfully reality and ambition have come to a harmonious compromise making the road a little easier to travel.
Although there is a sense of frustration that my body is wearing out, there is also pride in the fact that I haven’t held back. At the hands of a hard taskmaster it has suffered numerous breaks, dislocations, concussions and infections. It has been dehydrated, poisoned, exhausted and fully used. Now the aches and pains remind me that I’ve lived at full throttle — a knowledge that is strangely satisfying.
I imagine that if I arrived at the close of my life with a body that didn’t show the signs of wear, I would be disappointed in myself. I would suspect that I hadn’t lived like I meant it.
The voice of experience is more important than ever throughout the regions of rural Australia that are experiencing ongoing drought and subsequent hardship. We are seeing honest and brave people showing up day after day and doing the best they can with what they have. We are all learning from each other that attitude is everything, that our culture’s fear of ageing is outdated and that we don’t necessarily need rain to grow stronger.
Chris Ferguson is a grazier and shares her experience of life in the outback at @lifeinthemulga on Instagram.