CONFIDENCE TRICKS
A return from injury sees an out-of-practice John Whitney battle a crisis of confidence on the road
My first ‘proper’ road ride is something I can recall vividly, an examining 60-miler in the Forest of Bowland. I was nervous, not so much because I was out on the open road, more beacuse I didn’t know if I’d be able to go the distance. In the end I couldn’t; an SOS to my dad, made just three miles from home, saw him peel me up from the bench onto which I’d slumped after bonking for the last time. This formative disaster likely explains my tendency to carry enough food to nourish a club ride.
Almost a decade later and that confidence has switched. Whether or not I finish a ride hasn’t been an issue for a long time. Even when the fitness isn’t quite there, I’ve got the experience to know how it feels to get over the line, and that carries me forward long after my legs have gone kaput. But as for the confidence of being amongst traffic, that’s eroded a bit recently, which is a tricky thing to admit in a cycling magazine!
You might say my perception of vulnerability on the road has increased. Being out of practice hasn’t helped. Injuries have cut my riding opportunities, and that fast reduces the ability to find the rhythm and reactions of road cycling. Training doesn’t just hone the body but the mind, too.
A succession of high-profile cyclist deaths has also been sobering. Ultra-cyclist Mike Hall, pro Michele Scarponi and MotoGP rider Nicky Hayden - three athletes, and
We’re almost conditioned these days to be fearful of just about everything
experienced cyclists, in their prime, all hit by vehicles while out riding alone, and all now dead. Not that any one of these three deaths should be more cause for grief than, say, the four cyclists killed on London roads so far in 2017, of course. But when, in the case of Scarponi, I watched him soar up mountains on TV just the day before, the thought that he’s now gone is a troubling one. Is my low confidence one of perception or should I have genuine cause for concern? We’re almost conditioned these days to be fearful of just about everything. One full cycle of 24-hour news will fill you with enough dread about terrorism, war, aeroplane disasters and viral outbreaks to keep you holed up in your home for weeks. But, just like being a victim of any of the above, statistically, cycling is low risk. I’ve more chance of coming a cropper in a gardening accident or, as a pedestrian, being run over by a vehicle upon leaving the coffee shop from which I’m writing this. Cycling deaths in the UK were the lowest (100) on record in 2015 and although those killed or seriously injured per billion miles travelled is up from 875 in 2005 to 1025 in 2015, it’s a small increase on an already small number. So, I probably needn’t worry. The near misses may be as frequent as the vitriol from motorists, but the chances of a catastrophic incident are no higher now. And, of course, even with the risks as they are, I’d much prefer to take my chances doing something I love.