HOW SORE OUR BITS GE T…

We’ve all been there, you finish a long ride and it feels like your bits are actually on fire. They’ve been squashed and squeezed, constricted and chaffed, but no cyclist ever admits to anything other than mild discomfort. “In a bit of pain there?” bystanders ask, as we walk with legs so far apart they’re in different postcodes. “Oh no,” we lie, “I’m fine.” Cyclists, with our strongly masochistic bent, always refuse to tell the truth about how we are, injury wise. Our limbs could be hanging off and we’ll appear more concerned about getting our new Rapha top (that cost an arm and a leg in the first place) muddy.

Every cyclist has experienced pain in the Netherlands. It’s so bad that cycling invented special shorts to mitigate against this complaint. We assume that you ride wearing padded shorts or tights. If you don’t, start now! Although these wondrous inventions make cycling easier on the undercarriage there’s still a risk of saddle sore and even abscesses forming. If you’re a regular rider chamois cream is a necessity. Apply to any of your bits and pieces that come into contact with the saddle. Users of chamois cream (and other similar products) no longer have to lie about how their bits feel… most of the time, at least.

NO PAIN, NO GAIN WHEN WE FIB ABOUT HOW MUCH WE’RE SUFFERING AS WE WALK WITH LEGS SO FAR APART THEY’ RE IN DIFFERENT POSTCODES