Meat market

Colin Fassnidge is sure his extravagant charcuterie-filled ‘pizza’ won’t be a flop. Not so, says Anthony Puharich, who is flipping out at the thought of our chef’s pork offering.

Our boys enjoy a pizza the action.

A You’re not normal, mate. Why can’t you just do a pizza when I give you charcuterie?

C Because it was a trap. I saw that it was a trap; you could do pizza! The Irish don’t do pizza. I’m doing a calzone. Why? Well, I’m not doing tomato. I’m doing a bechamel sauce for your charcuterie. We’re going to put diced potato in there, then fill it up with meat and fold it over. It’s like a pasty. It’s like an Italian-European pizza-pasty.

A So stupid. You have a big problem. People are just going to turn the page!

C No they won’t. They have the calzone, they’ll just turn that over!

A I don’t understand the fold-y bit. Why would you do it? I don’t want someone to flip my pizza for me. I want it left like it is. C Any Italian can make a pizza, I’m Irish. A And the potatoes again! C Yeah! Potatoes are in there. A There’s nothing authentic about this. It’s a messed up Irish pizza with potato. C You want pineapple, I bet. A That’s you. If there isn’t potato, there’s pineapple. One day you’re going to invent the potato-pineapple. I can’t believe we’re doing an upside-down pizza. What’s with the bechamel? Isn’t that French?

C We’re in a country of cultures. I’ve taken the best of everything and put it in the calzone. And that’s what makes Australia great – g’day mate!

A Right. It’s the United Nations of pizza.

POTATO & TRIPLE PORK CALZONE SERVES 8 (MAKES 2 CALZONE)

100g streaky bacon, finely chopped 2 tbs olive oil 700g pontiac or desiree potatoes,

peeled, cut into 1cm pieces 3 sprigs rosemary, leaves picked 200g thinly sliced provolone cheese 50g thinly sliced salami 100g thinly sliced jamon or prosciutto 1 bunch baby rocket

DOUGH

31/ 2 cups (500g) strong

(baker’s) flour 1 x 7g sachet dried yeast 1 tsp caster sugar 1 tbs olive oil

BECHAMEL SAUCE

40g unsalted butter, chopped 2 tbs plain flour

1/ 2 tsp ground nutmeg 11/ 2 cups (375ml) milk

For the dough, place all ingredients and 350ml lukewarm water in a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook and knead for 10 minutes or until a smooth ball forms. Transfer dough to an oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap and set aside in a warm place for 1 hour or until doubled in size.

Meanwhile, place bacon and half the oil in a saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes or until bacon starts to crisp. Add potato and two-thirds rosemary, and cook, stirring, for 1 minute or until well coated. Add enough water to cover potato, then bring to a simmer and cook, partly covered, for 12 minutes or until potato is tender. Strain over a bowl, reserving 1 cup (250ml) cooking liquid. Set the potato and reserved cooking liquid aside.

Meanwhile, for the bechamel sauce, melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour and nutmeg, and cook, stirring, for 2-3 minutes or until a golden paste forms. Whisk the reserved cooking liquid, then the milk, 1/2 cup (125ml) at a time, into the butter mixture until smooth. Simmer, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, for 4 minutes or until bechamel thickens and coats the back of the spoon. Season.

Preheat the oven to 220°C and grease 2 large baking trays.

To assemble calzone, transfer dough to a lightly floured surface and knock back by punching once to release air bubbles. Divide dough into 2 equal pieces. Working with 1 piece at a time, transfer dough to a large piece of baking paper and roll out into a 35 x 25cm rectangle.

Spread 1/2 cup (125ml) bechamel over dough, leaving a 3cm border. Cover one half of the bechamel with half the potato mixture, followed by half the provolone, salami and jamon, then top with another

1/2 cup (125ml) bechamel. Fold dough over filling to form a half-circle and pinch the edges together to seal. Transfer the calzone, together with the baking paper, to the first prepared tray. Repeat with remaining dough and filling ingredients.

Brush calzone with remaining 1 tbs oil and sprinkle with 1 tsp salt flakes. Bake for 20-25 minutes, swapping trays halfway, or until calzone is golden. Cut into pieces and serve with rocket.