“Wake up and start looking after yourself !”
After being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 20 years ago, Jodie Holmes has experienced one complication after another. She’s finally starting to take control back, but says if she could turn back time she’d do a lot of things differently
“Wake up and start looking after yourself,” is what I’d tell the 30-something-year-old me if I could travel back in time to the beginning of my journey with type 2 diabetes. That, and “stop thinking the complications won’t happen to you”, because they can – and they have.
From poster child to poor excuses
Thanks to not taking care of my diabetes, I’ve got liver cirrhosis, a heart arrhythmia that needs constant monitoring with a LOOP device that I’ve had inserted just above my heart, and I can no longer work. In 2017, a specialist told me that if I didn’t start taking better care of myself, I had just two years to live. I’ve also got a rare skin disorder that affects my face and chest, called reactive perforating collagenosis, as a result of my diabetes.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for sympathy. Far from it. In the past, I made excuses and blamed all kinds of external things and circumstances for why my health is like it is. But now I know that if you don’t care for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to? I’m responsible, no-one else.
What’s interesting is that when I was first diagnosed with diabetes, I did everything right. In fact, for the first five years I was the poster child of good diabetes management. I overhauled my diet, took the medication I was prescribed, conscientiously monitored my blood glucose levels and lost 26kg.
So, when my doctor praised me and said my diabetes was so well managed I could treat myself occasionally, it was like being given a free pass! It also coincided with a particularly stressful period of my life, including a messy divorce, working four jobs, night shifts, an interstate move – a whole lot of stuff. Combined, it meant I took my eye off the ball and almost felt like, ‘Great, that’s my diabetes dealt with, what’s next?’
The real fight
Then I met my new partner, felt comfortable and happy, and old eating habits and the weight crept back in. Several rounds of IVF trying to conceive my now 14-year-old son made me lose sight of my health and wellbeing even further. I stopped monitoring my bloods regularly and it cost me.
The crazy thing is, I’m a nurse, so I should have known better. I’ve always understood that diabetes isn’t just about controlling one thing, and
I knew what kind of impact and damage it caused the rest of your body. I’d seen it firsthand.
But as a nurse it’s easy to put yourself on the back-burner, prioritising the care of your patients while forgetting about No.1. To be honest, there was also a fair bit of denial involved.
I’d preach to my patients about how important it was for them to start making lifestyle changes, but I wasn’t doing any of it myself. Hypocritically, I was the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ nurse when I was caring for people with diabetes.
The upshot is that these days, at age 51, instead of being in the prime of my life, I’m in the fight for my life. And it makes me upset that I’ve forced my family and loved ones, particularly my mum, to come along for the ride. They’re amazing and I thank them every day for their love and support.
Now I’m fighting with all I’ve got. A combination of hitting my lowest point emotionally, finally accepting responsibility for my health and being afforded more time to focus on myself due to not being able to work has allowed me to make some important changes.
Taking charge
I’ve stopped eating rubbish food, I’m getting more sleep and I’m working with a physio to incorporate some exercise into my life. And the insulin
I’ve been prescribed means my blood glucose levels are back under control. I’ve also lost 30kg since being diagnosed with liver cirrhosis, because the nausea has stolen my appetite. The irony of that accidental weight loss is that my diabetes has improved significantly. What a way to do it!
Once a month I drive three hours from my home in
Echuca to Melbourne to see an endocrinologist, a gastroenterologist, a neurologist and a cardiologist, and I probably have a liver transplant in my future, if I’m lucky.
Some days
I feel like I’m 151 years old, but I’m nowhere near done yet. Would I change some things about my past? Absolutely. But all I can do is deal with where I’m at right now.
Regrets won’t change anything. I’ve stepped up and stopped burying my head in the sand, and I try to find something to enjoy and be grateful for every day. My goal now is to start living again, not just existing. ■
If you don’t care for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?