HE GETS HARD FOR THE MONEY

Es­cort­ing from ev­ery an­gle.

DNA Magazine - - CONTENT -

WHAT KIND OF MAN BE­COMES A SEX PRO­FES­SIONAL? WHAT ARE THE MYTHS AROUND ES­CORT­ING? MEET THE WORK­ING MEN, THE RE­TIRED ES­CORTS, THE EN­TREPRENEURS, A FAILED RENT BOY, AND A MAN WHO PAID FOR THE TIME OF HIS LIFE. FEA­TURE BY JESSE ARCHER.

Work­ing in the sex in­dustr y for over a decade, “Jeremy” looks back on the busi­ness and con­fesses ev­ery­thing! The perks and pit­falls, the Greek brick­lay­ers, the cake mak­ers and that ver y fa­mous footy player…

DNA: What made you de­cide to get into es­cort­ing and sex work? Jeremy: I was 19, study­ing at univer­sity and the stu­dent al­lowance wasn’t cut­ting it. I was at a night­club and an older gent, prob­a­bly in his early for­ties, of­fered to blow me. I po­litely de­clined. Then he coun­tered with, “What if I give you a $100?” Two min­utes later and I’m in the al­ley get­ting what I re­mem­ber be­ing quite a skilled blow job. Do­ing sex work from 19 to 30 is a long time. How did it shape who you are to­day? It honed my abil­ity to en­gage with people. It also gave me a much more open heart than most of my gay peers at the time. Once you ex­pe­ri­ence that breadth of people, you start to un­der­stand the hu­man con­di­tion in a much more hon­est and wel­com­ing way. It also meant I looked be­yond the phys­i­cal for my part­ners and sex­ual trysts. I have very broad types and the rea­son for that is one all es­corts need to re­mem­ber: ev­ery­one has some­thing beau­ti­ful about them. Find it. Many think of es­cort­ing as be­ing all about su­per hot guys. It’s the pack­age look and not just a pretty face or hot body. By pack­age, I mean a twink, jock, skater, ex­otic, mus­cle mary, mus­cle bear or boy next >>

>> door – that was mine. Looks get you in the door but what keeps you there and gets re­peat pa­tron­age is per­son­al­ity. What per­son­al­ity traits does it take? Three above all else: ex­cel­lent com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills – you have to know how to carry a con­ver­sa­tion, even about some­thing you know noth­ing about. You also have to be a good lis­tener. For many men, this is the only time they feel they can re­ally be them­selves. Don’t just hear them, lis­ten to what they are telling you. And you have to be able to be in­ti­mate – a com­forter. Sex is maybe only 25 per cent. You have to be able to hold some­one. Not just a clumsy hug, but hold them with your whole body. Touch is the most im­por­tant thing these men are prob­a­bly get­ting out of the ses­sion. What was the cra­zi­est thing some­one asked you to do? I was once asked to ride a man like a pony around his house yelling “Mush! Mush! Hiya, hiya! Mule!” while I whipped his arse with a rid­ing crop. I felt ridicu­lous, but I pock­eted $400. Did you have dif­fi­cul­ties get­ting an erec­tion? I rarely had a prob­lem. On work­ing days I wouldn’t have a wank, so the tank was full and the hor­mones on standby. If I was tired or it was late, I would pop maybe half a Vi­a­gra. What was the most mem­o­rable ses­sion? I re­mem­ber this as clear as day. My phone rang on a Tues­day night, which was weird be­cause my ad stated strictly Wed­nes­day to Satur­day. The guy started ask­ing the usual ques­tions and then got into an in-depth con­ver­sa­tion about con­fi­den­tial­ity and asked if I would sign a le­gal doc­u­ment. I agreed. I was then given an ad­dress, a time and spe­cific in­struc­tions: wear over­alls. No cologne. Be a lit­tle sweaty so do some pushups be­fore com­ing over. Any­way, I ar­rived at the home of a very fa­mous rugby league player (no, not Ian Roberts). I was there four hours and it was a dream book­ing. Nice guy. Great body. Amaz­ing sex. To this day the best kisser I have ex­pe­ri­enced. Oh, and a great tip­per! In gen­eral, what kind of guys hired you? I got ev­ery­thing from a 20-year-old Greek brick­layer who should have been a $10,000 a day model and who could pound me for hours with­out stop­ping, to a 65-year-old pro­fes­sor who used to bake things for me. With the pro­fes­sor all we did was chat, but I had to be naked. His baked goods were fan­tas­tic, by the way. I’ve never had a bet­ter choco­late gateaux! Did you sleep with a lot of “straight” mar­ried guys? I would say 50 per cent of my clients were straight mar­ried guys. These were men who were het­ero-nor­ma­tive in their daily lives. But these were also men who had a homo-ac­tive sex­u­al­ity. They were very good clients who re­warded a good time and re­spected our con­fi­den­tial­ity as much as we re­spected theirs. Af­ter all, we knew where they lived! Did Jeremy ever have or­gies with other sex work­ers? Yes. Once was a well-known mu­sic per­son­al­ity who hosted a party with ap­prox­i­mately 30 guests and 10 work­ers. We were to so­cialise, sit on laps, be charm­ing and flirty – lots of kisses and gig­gles and a lit­tle pet­ting. We were also naked. If we were in­vited into the “play room”, we were to be avail­able. This was the most pro­fes­sional orgy I have ever been to. It was like a cock­tail party. What about con­doms? Could Jeremy be paid enough not to bother? Once, with the pro­fes­sional rugby player. And only then be­cause I knew about the rigours of their

We were to so­cialise, sit on laps, be charm­ing and flirty – lots of kisses and gig­gles and a lit­tle pet­ting. We were also naked. If we were in­vited into the play room we were to be avail­able. It was the most pro­fes­sional orgy I’ve ever been to.

health test­ing due to the blood bin rules and the in­clu­sion of HIV test­ing as a mat­ter of course. Other­wise, ab­so­lutely not. I was of­fered $2,000 by one client to raw, but the re­al­ity is that I was my own prod­uct. Just like a car, I had to keep it in ex­cel­lent con­di­tion other­wise no one would want it. I didn’t use con­doms for oral. I usu­ally un­dressed the client my­self so I could give them a once-over look­ing for crabs, le­sions, rashes, un­usual bumps or oozes. For them it was part of get­ting their horny on, but it was more of a safety check for me. How much are drugs in­volved dur­ing tricks? Let’s make the distinc­tion very clear, the sex in­dus­try is not pros­ti­tu­tion. Call a sex worker a pros­ti­tute and you are li­able to get a very pre­cise re­sponse. A sec­re­tary sleep­ing with her boss for a pay rise is pros­ti­tu­tion. A street worker trad­ing tricks for a fix is pros­ti­tu­tion. A pros­ti­tute sac­ri­fices their nor­mal val­ues to get ahead some­how. Sex work­ers are in an in­dus­try with a cul­ture, an en­vi­ron­ment of sup­ply and de­mand with an es­tab­lished set of rules and be­hav­iours. Drugs are not part of that. Yes it hap­pens, but it is the ex­cep­tion not the rule and for one good rea­son: a worker can­not al­low them­selves to be put in a po­si­tion of vul­ner­a­bil­ity. For this same rea­son, a sex worker should never take a drink that they haven’t watched be­ing pre­pared. You worked in a brothel, for an agency and for yourself. What are the perks and down­falls to each? A brothel is pack men­tal­ity – ev­ery­one is com­pet­i­tive. There are no op­er­at­ing costs for the worker, but it is down­right hos­tile at times. As a pri­vate op­er­a­tor, I en­joyed work­ing for my­self and man­ag­ing my sched­ule but the downside was the cost of ad­ver­tis­ing. Us­ing an agency was my favourite way to work. You have no over­head and some­one is do­ing the screen­ing of clients and pro­mo­tion for you. The qual­ity of an agency worker is usu­ally very high and my agency would hold bar­be­cues oc­ca­sion­ally so we could all so­cialise to­gether. We were al­lowed to hook up with each other – and we did, but only on our off­days. On our on-days, the tank had to re­main full for the client! What was the rea­son you got out of the busi­ness? It was time. I loved it, but it re­ally did im­pact my so­cial life and my abil­ity to find a re­la­tion­ship. So I pat­ted “Jeremy” on the bum, thanked him for his ser­vice and re­tired him. What are you do­ing now? I am an Ex­ec­u­tive As­sis­tant in a cor­po­rate set­ting. What ad­vice do you have for some­one look­ing into be­ing an es­cort? Think it through long and hard. There is noth­ing shame­ful about be­ing an es­cort, but it is a very unique world of em­ploy­ment. Know how to com­mu­ni­cate. Know how to read people. Know the bar is set very high thanks to on­line porn and the im­ages we can see there. Make sure you oc­cupy a niche that no one else does. An es­cort is their own prod­uct: make it unique. Mar­ket it well. Take care of it (test­ing, et al). Im­por­tantly, know when it is time to stop. Do you keep in touch with any of your reg­u­lars? Ab­so­lutely not. When “Jeremy” re­tired, so did con­tact. Plus the reg­u­lars un­der­stood that if they saw me – yes, it’s a small world and they did – that we did not know each other and were to in­tro­duce our­selves as nor­mal. That’s the cul­ture and the ap­pro­pri­ate way to han­dle it.

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