Venice Unmasked
Breathtakingly romantic, Venice is for lovers. Also, rats. Marc Andrews wades right in.
IT’S LITTLE SURPRISE that one of the planet’s most heavily visited tourist hotspots also happens to be a World Heritage site. The entire old city of Venice, and its surrounding lagoon, feature on the list. Venice is simply breathtaking – a city literally f loating on water as if cast adrift not just from the rest of Europe but also from time. Almost an artifact in itself, the city is considered the pinnacle of romantic destinations for lovers of all description, including husbands-to-be!
Venice is a sea of beauty filled with ageless churches, galleries of centuries-old art alongside cutting edge art (a wooden medusa with dicks for snake-hair is a recent spectacular addition) and, of course, those inimitable gondolas that glide across the glistening azure waters of this renaissance masterpiece. This Italian city is essentially 118 tiny islands whose canals are all joined by beautifully crafted stone bridges from another era. Known as “Queen of the Adriatic”, Venice is definitely a triple-A kind of city: that’s architecture, artwork and amore. It is also, somewhat regrettably, one of the world’s most heavily visited cities by tourists. On average, 50,000 visit per day. In peak season that figure for this “living museum” can be almost double. The best times to go are early spring (March and April) or late autumn (October and November).
Every corner of Venice is a new photo opportunity, and there will be at least 20 people in front of you photographing it first. There are no cars but the swell of tourists might make you wish that you were sitting in a traffic jam with your personal space still respected.
You can do Venice in a day or a weekend. It’s romantic… to a point… especially when everyone around you is trying to be romantic and you’re jostling up too close for comfort. Rialto Bridge is the most famous, and the most trampled, of the water crossings in Venice. It gives good photo op, so be prepared to shoot and run.
The other places to visit, photograph and tick off your “things to see before I die” list are St Mark’s Basilica, the Grand Canal and the Piazza San Marco. The buildings of Venice are generally in a Gothic style with stunning arches and plenty of design details that are truly Italian in f lair.
Gondolas cost two Euros to get you from one side of the water to the other. A longer trip will cost you anything around and over 50 Euros, all negotiable with your gondolier. True, this is something special and a
Venice-only thing to do, so be prepared to pay for the once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Besides its everyday attractions, the city also hosts the Venice Film Festival and the Venice Biennale, in addition to being renowned for its art exhibitions and love of opera. It draws a big gay following for its annual pre-Easter Carnival Of Venice where everyone gets a chance to play dress-up and live out mediaeval fantasies (all hidden behind a fabulous Venetian mask).
Proving that Venice is not stuck in a time warp, last year the city ended its sister city
There are no cars but the swell of tourists might make you wish that you were sitting in a traffic jam with your personal space still respected.
relationship with St Petersburg in opposition to Russia’s continuing purge of homosexuals and anti-gay laws.
It might also surprise you to hear that there is actually a big gay club in Venice, located outside of the old city in nearby Mestre. Called Juice Berry, it’s a catacomb of cabins, darkrooms and playrooms. As well as boasting a dance f loor, it hosts brand nights from clubs as far afield as London and Amsterdam. Porn star performances feature on most nights, so if you’re looking for something more erotica than romance in Venice, this is the place for you.
As with the rest of Italy, food, like sex, is a national obsession here. We tried the local specialty, horsemeat pizza, which is not as horrific as it sounds (imagine shredded beef jerky with vine-ripened tomatoes and you get the idea). Other establishments offer Venetian delicacies such as deep fried mozzarella and ham sandwiches, semolina croquettes and olive meatballs. If you eat at the bar while standing you’ll cut your bill in half, so keep that in mind for a quick bite.
This city is also renowned for its fresh seafood, so spaghetti marinara is always a wise bet in Venice, washed down with the local “Spritz”, a wine-based aperitif that the locals seem to drink at all times of the day and night.
The city’s streets (or calles) are just as beautiful at night, but in the wee small hours a whole other brigade of visitors invades the city. Rats dart around the streets looking for scraps of food, inspiring “Venice By Night” T-shirts with the image of a large rat on it.
That aside, there is nowhere else in the world that even comes close to Venice. While Stockholm might try to coast by on its reputation as the “Venice Of The North”, there’s little comparison to this magical Italian city. You may only visit once, hopefully in the company of the one or ones you love, but a trip to Venice is an unforgettable one, despite the tourist hordes and, yes, my husband-to-be loved it. We might even spend our honeymoon, a la Elton and Dave, here too. Masks optional.