DEAR DIVA: PROBLEMS SOLVED
Making sense of the splatter when the shit hits the fan.
Dear Diva,
I was paid a holiday bonus from work and made the mistake of telling one of my friends. He’s been constantly asking me to borrow money. I plan on taking a vacation and doing some renovations on my home. I’m not sure how to tell him.
Dear Bonus Babe,
Whose name was on the check your received?
Yours! Not your friend’s. The money is yours. You don’t need to explain to that broke-ass bitch what you plan on doing with your money. You’ve learned a valuable lesson: don’t tell bitches about your business.
Dear Diva,
One of my friends asked for my help to finish a project he’s working on. We’ve been friends for over 10 years but when I started working with him I saw a different side. He’s vindictive and cruel to his staff. I can’t believe this is the same person. Should I reassess our friendship?
Dear Friend In Need,
You never really know a person until you live with them or work with them. Your friend could just be stressed-the-fuck-out over this project. We all react differently under stress. Or he could just be an asshole. Tell the motherfucker to take a shot of tequila or a Xanax. These usually calm me down.
Dear Diva,
I got a promotion recently – yay me! I worked very hard to land it, too. But my boyfriend doesn’t seem happy for me. I’m upset by his lack of enthusiasm for my achievement. I’m happy when people I love are happy. Maybe he doesn’t love me?
Dear Happy Person,
Envy and jealousy can be poisonous in a relationship. These emotions usually stem from insecurity. Your man may not be happy with his job and career and seeing your success makes him feel like he doesn’t measure up. Talk to him about this shit. Don’t let it fester.
Dear Diva,
My ex-boyfriend and I have remained friends after breaking up four years ago. He has been unemployed for almost two years and is about to lose his house. He asked me if he could stay with me for a couple weeks while he looks for a job. Not sure what I should do.
Dear Too-Kind Ex,
If your ex hasn’t been able to find a job in almost two years, what makes you think he’s going to find one in a few weeks while he’s couch surfing at your place? Don’t let him move in. This motherfucker will be laying up on you until the turn of the next century. If you want to help him and yourself offer to help pay the rent on an apartment and wish him the best. It will be cheaper than years of a having to feed him. Better check in on the state of his mental health, too.
Tell the motherfuckertherfucker to take a shot ot of tequila or a Xanax. These usuallylly calm me down.
MORE: Robbyne Kaamil is a relationship expert on TV, radio, and at Playgirl.com. She is also an actress, comedian and singer. Find her on FB, Twitter@theadvicediva, and email your confidential Dear Diva questions to: asktheadvicediva@gmail.com.