MY BEST SEX MOVE
Everything you need to know about how to have better group encounters.
Groups, foursomes or just a humble threesome, here’s some tips to “menage” all the dicks at your next menage-a-trois. Dear Cameron, I’ve had group sex a couple of times and it’s been a bit of a mixed bag. The first experience was great, but the others were so-so. What can I do to make group sex hotter? – Cali-otterboy-98.
BE ATTENTIVE
Ever had sex with someone who was only in it for themselves? It sucks, right? And not in the good way. Being mindful of your sex partner’s needs will improve any sexual encounter, and it’s especially important in group sex.
If someone gets left out or feelings of jealousy arise it can put a weird vibe on the experience. Remember: you’re not having group sex just to fuck some guy you’ve had your eye on while you completely ignore everyone else. Read the room. Make sure everyone is included. Reach out and grab a dick if it looks lonely.
DOING IT WITH A PARTNER? SET SOME GROUND RULES
I had a huge fight with my boyfriend once during an orgy. He mentioned that he fucked another guy bareback – something I wished he’d have discussed with me before we were in the moment.
You can avoid making the same mistake that we did by chatting with your partner before you engage in a group scenario. Talk about each
other’s boundaries, whether you’ll play safe, who you do/don’t want to bang in the group.
If you go into it as a team, you can help each other have a better time during the experience.
DON’T LIKE WHAT’S HAPPENING? DON’T JUST GO WITH THE FLOW
I wish someone had told me this sooner: you have the right to back out of a sexual experience at any time, even if someone has their dick buried deep inside of you.
You don’t have to have sex without condoms if you don’t want to. You don’t have to play with someone in the group if they make you uncomfortable. If something or someone makes you feel off during a group experience, don’t just ignore it, vocalize your concerns and deal with it if you can.
Or exit the experience altogether.
NOBODY IS EVERYBODY’S CUP OF TEA
Dita Von Teese once said, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” Keep this in mind and chill out if someone in the group doesn’t want to have sex with you.
Similarly, don’t feel obligated to interact with someone just because they’re also in the group. If you don’t want to play with them, politely decline.
TRY IT SOBER
Alcohol and drugs can heighten sex, but they can also ruin it – hello whisky dick and douching mishaps!
Drugs and alcohol can also cloud your judgment. If you’ve only had group sex under the influence, try it sober. Being fully present can take a sexual experience to the next level.
DON’T FREAK OUT IF ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
In an ideal world, butt sex would be exactly like it is in porn – squeaky clean every time. But every gay man who has had anal knows that clean buttholes aren’t always guaranteed, even when you’ve douched every last inch of your insides.
So! If you do have a bottoming mishap during a group situation, don’t stress. Just clean up promptly and assess whether you should re-attempt or bow out of bottoming for the rest of the night.
BE READY TO ASSUME THE RISK OF AN STI
Not to be a Debbiee Downer, but sex always carries the risk of STI transmission. Adding more people to the experience means there’s a greater chance you could contract something.
Whether you use condoms or go bareback is totally up to you. You’ll have a better time during the experience if you’re at peace with your choices and you feel ready to assume the risk of catching an STI. And whether you’re fucking with a condom or not, you should always try and do a quick visual and finger check of your sex partners before you stick your bits inside someone else (or vice versa).
SEX PARTY ETIQUETTE
Etiquette, and how to host a sex party are a whole other topic! Email me if you’d like to see this covered in a future issue.