Trump’s a chump but Brazil did alright

I’VE had to make a conscious effort to reflect on 2016 in a positive light. It wasn’t easy, and I had to defer to the sporting world for inspiration. The Olympics in Rio threatened to be a disaster on several fronts but came through with flying colours, sticking it up all the sceptics.

And then they celebrated by throwing a spectacular Paralympics to back it up. Well done, Brazil, you carved up! Meanwhile, back at home the NRL delivered at last to the perpetual bridesmaids at Cronulla. In the AFL, a mammoth arm wrestle in the top eight saw new kids on the block, The Giants, come within a kick to taking a Grand Final berth, but the flag flew for the sentimental favourites, the Western Bulldogs. 2016 was a great year to be a footy fan.

But I can’t keep this up folks. 2016 was a crap year and brought out the ugly in so many of us. There was an initial glimpse of light from Germany who flung open her gates in February to a needy couple of million. But this was overshadowed by random acts of terrorism in Brussels and France, and gave the haters some justification.

Now I can’t readily grab any modern example where division has led to a productive way forward. I’ve always subscribed to the philosophy of “Together we stand, divided we fall”, but 2016 was a year for the separatists and the refugee dilemma gave them a purpose. The unthinkable happened in Britain, and without an actual plan, Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson managed to withdraw Britain from the EU and, like a bunch of playground knuckleheads, could only muster a silly grin as an exit strategy.

But by far and away, the greatest kerfuffle of all, the definitive WTF moment of world history, the biggest news story by far was when fewer than the majority of US voters chose a decidedly unpresidential salesman to become the least qualified and most inexperienced Leader of the Free World we have ever seen. Anyone who thinks this is none of our business has little recollection of the global effect from when they did this last time (thank you, George W. Idiot). Trump’s success is a testament to anyone born inside the borders of Toontown; that any chump can lead the world’s largest economy, and I mean anyone (provided that you don’t hold a Kenyan birth certificate, of course). His campaign demonstrated that facts are less important than headlines, that details count for less than slogans, and that anger and hate don’t make for clear decisions. The faceless men in the background that have always led the Republican movement lost control of their party and their best response was to evacuate their political bowels and try to clean up by flinging it at a fan. Only in America…

I’ve always laughed at the doomsday preppers, but last weekend I bought a new shovel (a Spear & Jackson with a big brass handle…)