Helping rural blokes get unbogged
IT’S hard not to become emotional when considering the high suicide numbers across Australia’s country communities, with rural men twice as likely as their metropolitan counterparts to take their own lives.
In the 20 to 24-year-old age bracket alone, 40 per cent of deaths are by suicide.
Enter Mary O’brien. An agronomist by trade originating from Dalby in Queensland, she’s more accustomed to talking to farmers about spray drift management than their mental health.
But through her friendly manner and frank nature, Ms O’brien has forged connections in the rural community that are literally saving lives.
“It all started after we lost two guys within two weeks before Christmas in the local area,” she said.
The tragic double suicide rocked the Darling Downs, with many of the men’s farming counterparts openly questioning what had happened to their friends and why they couldn’t have helped.
Almost immediately, Ms O’brien went from conducting spray application workshops to offering a lifeline to farmers in need of support.
“I travel around Australia talking to people, so I decided to upskill and found some research in this area,” she explained.
“What psychologists were saying was that we need to get them to open up but they are not wired that way. It was more geared towards women than men. Women talk about feelings, men talk about facts.”
Ms O’brien asked farmers to post an image online of a vehicle that was bogged on their property. It was an analogy for feeling stuck in an emotional sense and had an overwhelming response.
“I wrote ‘Are you bogged mate? I do care about things apart from spray drift and this is one of them.”
The tweet went viral and started what would become a men’s health campaign which has eclipsed rural Australia.
It became the basis of what she now shares in her spray drift presentations which feature topics such as what a shitometer looks like and working hard not to redline. Participants are also asked to fill a bucket with balls as a symbol of what’s bothering them which is followed by tipping it out to remove the issues.
The concept snowballed. Two and a half years later and there’s an “Are you bogged mate?” website, social media feeds and speaker bookings for almost a year in advance.
“I started getting asked to talk about it,” Ms O’brien explained.
“I was just frustrated with what I found. Now it’s become mainly what I do.”
Talking to rural men on a regular basis, Ms O’brien believes it’s hard to measure how much she has helped. But to know that what she tells people is being heard is enough to get a conversation started and more advice can be sought from there. It helps that she is good at reading people and speaking in their language.
“Everywhere I go, people seem to love it. Both women and men, I make them laugh, and cry. And they are not ashamed to admit it. They also have a good sense of humour.”
Ms O’brien’s aim is to reach out to country blokes, let them know that someone cares, and connect them with further services if that’s what’s needed.
“I’m just glad they know somebody’s listening, that I will go into bat for them, and I understand the pressures they are under. Whatever the issue is, they often suffer in silence.
“Now, when I’m talking to them, I can tell who wants me to help. Sometimes that is just that they need someone to talk to. Some need more help. Whatever the case, I understand them and how they work.”
Ms O’brien believes there is a misconception that if you aren’t coping, you are mentally ill. But that is not always the case. Sometimes people just need to have a friend who cares about them.
It’s also nothing to be ashamed of to ask a friend or neighbour for assistance or to seek professional guidance.
Ms O’brien likened mental illness to having a broken leg – where it can be fixed with treatment. Leaving it untreated just causes more issues in the long-term.
With bookings until June next year, Ms O’brien is garnering more and more support for her cause.
“I’ve had a huge response,” she said. “It’s just getting so much coverage.
“Now it will just depend on border restrictions.”
www.areyouboggedmate.com.au
` What psychologists were saying was that we need to get them to open up but they are not wired that way... Women talk about feelings, men talk about facts...