Triena French: Be good to yourself

I was born in Parkes, Mum and Dad lived in Fifield when I was little. I remember going back every school holidays and staying with Nan and Pop and my Aunty Deb. It was a childhood spent outside, we made cubbies and rode bikes. I have two brothers so we were always outdoors. I also didn’t rely heavily on others for entertainment. We always found something to do and never relied on the TV. Growing up where I did gave me a sense of belonging somewhere. It was always positive and welcoming and peaceful and I guess that’s how I am now. There was a big focus on family spending time together and that really shapes who you are.

When we moved to Dubbo, I went to Orana Heights and then South High. Funnily enough, I have worked at both of those schools since then. After high school, it was a huge push for me going to uni and doing an arts degree. I had always enjoyed the arts and being creative and I had an amazing teacher in Year 12. He encouraged me towards being a graphic designer and going into that, I’d thought of different career options. I wanted to be a forensic scientist but didn’t do well enough in chemistry to do that. I also realised that forensics was competitive and hard to get into. But graphic design was the obvious choice.

I moved to Wagga Wagga where I did digital media classes and photography and completed a Bachelor of Arts in Graphic Design. It was different but Jason (my partner) was there, we started dating in 2006.

In first year, I lived on campus, in second year we lived at the caravan park and in third year, we got a unit. I really enjoyed the course and I loved all the possibilities of it and it was a chance to be creative. I was always working on a project. I’m also a massive print and type fan, I’m drawn by old school print.

I was lucky too as I was offered a job with Dubbo Photo News. But being a graphic designer, it’s a bit full-on – it’s rewarding but can be extremely trying. Sometimes, as much as you help a client, you still don’t feel like you have nailed it. In many ways, it was a test of patience and skill.

I’d actually started helping kids by tutoring a little bit here and there when a lady let me know of a job as a teacher’s aide at a local school. I thought ‘why not?’ I’ve always known I wanted to help people. I’ve been there ever since and I don’t think I’ll do anything else. It’s a job that keeps giving something, offering hope and encouragement to kids that they may not get anywhere else.

I was in the special education unit which is for kids experiencing difficulties in learning, socially and in general. They just need some support in what they’re doing. When I was at school, I always did peer reading and peer support. It made me feel empowered and responsible. Now, I know that these kids have my back and I have theirs. There’s a level of respect that I get from the kids that otherwise may not be there. They may not have any network at home.

You have kids that have no-one. You might be their only form of support that they have in their life. Knowing that they listen to you and you can affect their day to day lives is a massive thing. We are there for learning support and helping them read and understand what’s going on in the classroom. It’s not just their classroom learning, it’s their social learning too. They might not interact very well with others, all of that sort of thing. It might be little things like a mark on an exam or being able to overcome something that three weeks earlier might have given them a meltdown.

It’s just helping to build that resilience in them that helps support them. I am now working in the mainstream learning and support team, an amazing group of people to work with. What keeps me grounded, I think, is something I learned a long time ago. My Nan’s mantra was to be kind to others and it will also come back to you. She always said ‘be good’ which was about not being mean, being good to yourself and others in what you do and how you live.

I have a tattoo ‘Be Good’ in Nan’s handwriting on my wrist and a bird on the other wrist to signify my other grandparents. Nan and I were extremely close and who I am as a person is partly because of her influence. As well as being a wonderful nan, she was also a triple certificate nurse and midwife. She was the hardest working person.

Being good to others led to being good to myself. Over the years, I’d given way too much to others without realising the toll it had taken on me. To be a better role model for the kids and for myself, I had to do something.

A guy from work was talking about the place he goes called Fitclub. After a rough patch in my life, I decided to do something for myself for a change. I go every day and loving it more and more. I am now a coach and training with the aim of becoming a personal trainer next year. I am amazed at how I feel, I thought I would have given it up ages ago but now I can’t! I have lost 30kg. I just feel a happier person now.

I’m positive about a lot more in my life than I ever was. It helps keep me positive and I can get more involved in school stuff, I feel more confident, I feel like there’s nothing stopping me from achieving what I want to do now. I was a negative person for a long time, now I have confidence, it has made me feel awesome.

My anxiety has gone, I can focus on something and know that it can happen and that it will happen. I feel that I am doing what I was destined to do, I finally realised what I was here for. I want to give kids this opportunity to believe in themselves. And I’ve got kids in my class keeping me on the ball!

I’ve finally developed the realisation that you might not mean something to them now but one day they might look back on this time. Now that I am finally happy, I feel like I can give more.

If you are happy and positive, it makes a difference in so many things, your work, your life. I am getting further in my job now. I am pushing myself to the limit. You can fall seven times, and get up eight times. It’s about picking yourself up and doing it. Now I am inspiring others to make better choices in their lives. In general, the people around me are making better choices and shining a different light on it.

Nan was always positive. She would always say ‘have you seen it this way?’ in relation to a decision or a problem. You have control of it, so do it. Everyone says I should be a teacher. I’d like to look at it, I’m only 28 so I’ve got time to think about it.

I would like to continue making a difference in whatever I do, whether that’s social work or youth work. When you have options to change, that’s when you do make a change. If I had not been so shy and afraid to do things, I would have done this earlier. But because I was afraid of the consequences, I didn’t do anything. I was afraid of myself. But now I want to be that voice for a lot of kids and tell them to do whatever you want to do.