The Procession To Calvary

PC

Plenty of games would like to think they’re Pythonesque; Joe Richardson’s point-and-click adventure is one of the few that earns the right to describe itself thus. Its playful collages of Renaissance artworks, brought to vivid life through deliberately rudimentary cut-out animations, capture the absurdist spirit and gleeful vulgarity of Terry Gilliam’s work in particular. It effortlessly veers between high- and lowbrow: a familiarity with the work of Vermeer comes in handy in one scene, while another invites you to choose from which orifice you’d like to pass wind.

Taking place in a nameless region, The Procession To Calvary casts you as a warrior based on Rembrandt’s depiction of Bellona, the Roman goddess of war. She simply wants to “do murders”, but her bloodlust must be put on hold until she’s found a way to reach despotic leader Heavenly Peter, who has retreated to his wellguarded basilica. What follows, on a fundamental level, is pretty standard point-and-click fare: you engage in dialogue with locals and gather items that are used to solve a succession of elaborate puzzles. Clicking the scroll wheel temporarily brings up any hotspots, so even in scenes as busy and fanciful as these, you’re never in doubt as to what or with whom you can interact.

The rest is anything but ordinary. Take the multipurpose ‘action’ icon: this might let you applaud a trio of horn players blasting out Handel’s Music For The Royal Fireworks, prod a sleeping man’s jowls, or punch a boatman in the back of the head. At one stage we find ourselves guiding a skunk past a woman selling merchandise at a crucifixion. At another, we pause to jot down the lyrics of Monteverdi’s Lamento d’Arianna so that we might win a talent contest. And there’s a cathartic alternative to all this: should you grow tired of these roadblocks, you can simply draw your sword and slaughter anyone in your path. It’s certainly a much quicker way to the finish, though a single murder guarantees you won’t get the ‘good’ ending – indeed, you’re warned in no uncertain terms to save your game before taking the (violent) path of least resistance.

Keep it sheathed, and your route to the final confrontation is hardly a procession. For the most part the puzzles are well-pitched, with clues subtly seeded into the dialogue. Yet, in keeping with genre tradition, there are a few sticking points where the way forward lies behind a specific interaction that is too easily missed. Richardson’s game might lack the mechanical ingenuity and sheer variety of Lair Of The Clockwork God, then, though it’s just as funny in its own way – sustaining its riotous blend of silliness and surrealism to the end credits and beyond.

The script takes satirical potshots at a range of targets, though we’ll admit to laughing longest and loudest at the sillier jokes. Once you’ve ‘talked’ to the first musician you see, you’ll want to do the same for every one

Developer Joe Richardson Publisher Joe Richardson, Superhot Presents Format PC Release Out now Calvary breaks the fourth wall by occasionally lifting its camera through the ceiling of the game world, revealing a puppeteer god flanked by two cherubs from Raphael’s Sistine Madonna. It’s a device that Richardson uses largely to mock himself, at one point drawing attention to a botched animation he was unable to fix, at another lambasting his own choice of typeface. In a room full of Kickstarter backer portraits, meanwhile, he launches into a tongue-in-cheek diatribe about artistic integrity. DIVINE COMEDY