MOTARD MANIA

Remember when wheelies, stoppies and supermotos were all the rage? Well they’re coming back in fashion, or at least this trio of headcases would make you believe.

The ingredients are simple; lots of torque, no fairings and ’bars wide enough to hang your washing on. Supermotos really are simple beasts, and if you rode through the late nineties and early noughties there’s every chance you either had one, or knew a mate who did. Yep, they were the days when no one thought twice about setting your neighbour’s car alarm off with your exhaust note and when global warming was just the name of some seedy nightclub down Brighton seafront. Supermotos have always been, and should always remain, offensive, loud-mouthed and impractical for everything other than massive endos, burnouts and ridiculous lean angles. It’s who they are, it’s what they do, but the real question is whether 2019’s production offerings still have what it takes to make you the most hated, yet envied, motorcyclist in your village?

In recent years it seems there’s been a mild resurgence for gangly motards, mostly from the European manufacturers, and rather than berate them for being much larger, smarter and more practical than their immature forefathers, we thought we’d gaggle together three of the best bikes on the market to see whether they still had what was needed to get you up in the morning (I’m talking about wheelies, obviously). The plan was simple; hire a go-kart track and tick off an awesome stretch of windy roads en route to our designated play pen.

Our trio of ASBO-inducers were each hand-picked by myself, Frodo and Boothy. While I opted for Ducati’s sophisticated Ducati Hypermotard 950 SP, Carl went full ’tard in the form of Husqvarna’s 701 bare bones brute. As for Boothy, he was in need of a bike with a wide seat to carry his mass, and Aprilia’s comfort inclined Dorsoduro 900 proved to be packing all the minerals he was after. As to which would deliver the most smiles per miles, there was only one way to find out…