Grant Holt is a wrestler now
From non-league to Norwich, the burly striker threw his weight around – now he’s doing it in the ring
Hi Grant. [Pants furiously amid slamming sounds] Hi mate. I’m in the wrestling ring at the moment. Can you call back in an hour? Of course. [An hour passes] Hi Grant. Hi. We don’t often phone people who are wrestling… but you seem committed to the career move. What’s going on? I’m in training at the moment and have been doing front flips this morning! I’m learning new bits and working out what I want to do. Last year, the family that run the World Association of Wrestling asked me to participate for charity, and now we’re bringing wrestling to Carrow Road. It’s escalated into ‘Fightmare 3’, and we’re trying to get some big names. I’ve been kicking guys and getting away with it for years, so why not? Superb. You’ve had one bout, showing up at a nightclub in some office-style clothes to take part in a Royal Rumble. Are you going to be called Grant ‘The Businessman’ Holt, then? I went down to watch and was asked if I fancied helping out, as a couple of lads had cancelled. I’d done the training, so got involved and managed to win. Now I’m honing myself. Like any athlete, you always try to be the best you can. As for the name, I’ve gone for ‘The Incredible Holt’, and all the civilian clothes will be gone at the next bout. Rumour has it that you ate a large pie before entering the ring… [Laughs] That’s right. It was a delicious steak pie that I had down at Eastleigh. Great pre-wrestling fare. What’s the most painful injury you’ve ever suffered? Someone once stamped on my nether regions after a tackle – that wasn’t very nice. I was involved in a melee and got trod on – there were a few tears in my eyes afterwards. Which opponent from your football days would you most like to perform The Undertaker’s chokeslam on? Good question. I wouldn’t have minded giving Michael Oliver a bit of a chuck about the place after he sent me off at Reading once. And he’s a Geordie too, so that’s a bonus. If every Premier League footballer got in a ring for the biggest Royal Rumble ever, who’d be the last man standing? Adebayo Akinfenwa is going to be the best footballing wrestler, isn’t he? But from the Premier League? Hmm. How about Harry Maguire? He’s an absolute unit and he’s quick, so he’d fly around the place. Big Wes Morgan, too – I had some battles with him. At Forest, they called him ‘The Big Bear’ and he called me ‘The Polar Bear’. Nice. If Norwich were allowed to play Chris Packham from Springwatch as a 12th man, how would you use him? I wouldn’t bother – he’d get in the way or end up offside. How many Packhams would it take to turn over a professional team? You’d need at least 30, although you might still beat them by going long. There was some good snow in the UK this winter. Did you make a snowman? I didn’t, because we only had a dusting, but I’m a keen snowman-maker. Make them huge! The key is to roll a massive ball for the base. That’s where I use my wrestling strength. Keep on rolling until your hands are so cold, they’re going to drop off. Then the kids can do the rest... Who is the greatest Grant of all time? You can’t really look past Grant Mitchell, right? He was great. Along with brother Phil, they’d be good tag-team wrestlers. No doubt. Finally, Grant, have you had any baffling dreams lately? Yeah. I had one where I was driving my car and then suddenly I was driving it underwater, James Bond-style. I’d been watching a TV programme about a lost sea. I was in Carlisle, but then the next minute I was in Australia. It was weird. Spectral. Good luck, Incredible Holt! Thanks.
“THE GREATEST GRANT? MITCHELL. PLUS, HE AND PHIL WOULD MAKE GOOD TAG-TEAM WRESTLERS”