Dom Matteo on pasta shapes, lawnmowers and Mr Bump

The former Liverpool man may be football’s Mr Bump, but he did a great job on Alan Hansen’s lawn

Hi, Dom. As you have an excellent Italian surname, can we do a quiz called How Italian Are You? Of course. My dad came from a very small village called Venafro, which is actually older than Rome. It’s in the mountains and people live a simple way of life up there. I’ve visited a few times and it’s beautiful. Here goes, then. First question: do you enjoy arguing? Our Italian friend claims that arguing is a valid hobby and a good form of exercise. I’ve had some very good arguments – usually with my dad, who’s an Everton supporter. He’s a mixture of Italian and Scottish, and you don’t really want to be messing with that. My missus would also tell you that I’m an opinionated nightmare. I’m a bit OCD about where things are kept, so we row about that. When was your last proper barney? Just this morning! We’re doing some home renovations and she moved all my coats out of my office. I had a bit of a go about her doing that. And if I cook dinner and she’s late, she’ll always get a text saying, ‘Your dinner is going cold’. Would you call yourself a fan of the wild Italian hand gesture? Definitely! I like the gesturing, and when I’m watching football my hands will be everywhere. It shows emotion; that you care about things. My favourite gesture? It’s got to be the Leeds salute, right? Absolutely. Do you ever ride around an Italian village square on a moped while wearing massive sunglasses? No, but Robbie Fowler and myself did used to go on holiday and hire mopeds in Faliraki. We were the worst example of professional players on their holidays, and these days we’d be in big trouble. I had my top off, though I wasn’t cool enough for the sunglasses. What is the best pasta shape? Spaghetti tastes best, but I’m going to go for penne. I eat fast, and you can eat penne really quickly. My mum does Mama Matteo’s sauce that she learned in Italy – it’s been passed down through generations. Put that on some penne and it’s fantastic. Lovely. All right, enough Italian-ness. You grew up in Southport – have you ever been to its leading attraction, the British Lawnmower Museum? You’re kidding me...? I’ve never heard of it. I’m in Southport as we speak – I’m going to go there right now! As a young apprentice at Liverpool I used to mow the pitch at Southport, and I mowed Alan Hansen’s lawn. I used an industrial mower. It was all right. I reckon I might have been a gardener if I hadn’t been a footballer. I don’t mind a mow. I must admit we have a gardener now, though. Jamie Carragher’s got a completely artificial lawn. It’s like Loftus Road in the 1980s. Do you approve of that? I’ve seen it, actually. He’s got a nice garden going there. But, for me, you can’t beat well-mown grass. Your name is an anagram of ‘memo dictation’. Do you ever record little messages to yourself into your phone, in the style of Alan Partridge? No, I’m pretty old-school – I just like to make an old-fashioned note. I’m more of a pen-and-paper man, so I’m not bashing stuff into my ipad all the time; I mainly just use that to watch Netflix. Which of the Mr Men do you relate to the most? It’s got to be Mr Bump. I’ve got some Mr Bump slippers. I’m quite clumsy, really – I drop things quite a bit – and sometimes I get into a bit of a state. On Sundays, I like to take the family out for lunch, then have a few beers with the boys. The other Sunday night, my missus found me at the bottom of the stairs in a heap. She checked that I was breathing and left me to it. Finally, do you ever pick things up with your feet because you’re too lazy to bend over? I don’t, although if I drop something, I’ll try to keep it up! My wife is brilliant with her feet. She’s an ex-ballerina and her feet are like an extra pair of hands. Nice. Cheers for chatting, Dom!

“MY MISSUS FOUND ME IN A HEAP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS. SHE LEFT ME TO IT”