MATT FORDE
The Forest- loving funny man on Pierre van Hooijdonk’s decapitation act and Frank Clark: secret rock star
What was the first game you ever saw live?
That was Nottingham Forest 2- 0 Sunderland in the 1990- 91 season, when I was eight. I stood in the old Kop end, which is now the Bridgford End, and saw Nigel Clough and Steve Chettle both score. I already loved football but fell in love with football culture that day.
Who was your childhood hero, and did you ever meet them?
Brian Clough and Stuart Pearce, and I’m really lucky to have met them both; Clough, when I was a mascot at Forest once. I used to get Pearce’s autograph before every home game. There was one time when I saw him getting out of his car and he said, “Oh, you again?” I was delighted that he remembered me! Last year I was a guest on TALKSPORT, and Pearce was co- hosting. He was an absolute gentleman. People say you should never meet your heroes, but I think you definitely should.
What was your finest moment as a player?
I captained my primary school team, so that was a source of great pride. The only goals I scored were own goals, though: one was a backpass to the goalkeeper which went in as he was tying his shoelaces – I don’t take full responsibility!
How has watching football changed for you since you were a kid?
I don’t like it when fans have their camera phones out all the time. Why do people film corners? Sky have 18 cameras that are going to show it in the best definition that capitalism can afford – you are not going to do a better job on your iphone, despite what the adverts might tell you. Football has succumbed to this Instagram culture of people needing to brag that they were there rather than enjoying what’s right in front of them.
Who from your club’s past would you bring back for today’s side?
Stan Collymore. Lewis Grabban is great, but I think we need another striker. I still watch Youtube videos of Collymore at Forest at least once a week – he could create goals out of nothing and had so much power. If we had him, we would definitely get promoted this season.
Who has or had the hardest shot that you’ve ever seen?
Pierre van Hooijdonk. One day Forest were training at the ground, and I was allowed in – it was 1997- 98, the year we got promoted with Van Hooijdonk and Kevin Campbell upfront. Pierre told me to go in goal, and he would take shots at me. I headed one, and I still don’t think I walk right. It didn’t feel like a football – it was like a rock. At the time I thought it was a nice thing to do. Now I think, ‘ What was he trying to do? Take my head off?’
Which player do you admire that never played for your club?
Paul Gascoigne. England has never produced a more naturally gifted player. He could even do it to some extent when he was fat. Everything that’s happened to him makes him a hard person to defend. For talent alone, though, he was breathtaking.
What’s your favourite football book?
Provided You Don’t Kiss Me: 20 Years with Brian Clough by Duncan Hamilton. I wept when I read it. There are so many good books about Clough, but I think that’s the best. It captures the raw emotion of it all and how he made you feel. I still think of him as a grandad or father figure.
What’s the funniest or oddest thing you’ve seen or heard at a match?
Derby at home a few years ago. They went 3- 0 up and there was a guy at the back of the upper tier who went, “I’ve had f** king enough of this.” He ripped his shirt off, ran
down the aisle and tried to leap off the upper tier and into the away end. All he wanted was to drop and have the s** t kicked out of him, just for the sheer relief of it. The Derby fans were encouraging him, and it took about six stewards to prevent him falling to his death. I heard him after saying, “They wouldn’t even let me fight the Derby fans.” He wasn’t grateful, he was livid.
Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever met a manager or player?
I saw Gordon Strachan at Dubrovnik airport once and completely bottled going over to him. Despite being on his own, he had a look of someone who did not want to be approached.
What’s the best piece of memorabilia that you have or wish you still had?
I worked in Stoke, and Pele, Gordon Banks and the Archbishop Desmond Tutu were doing an event in the town, randomly. I couldn’t go but my boss did, so I asked him if he could get me their autographs. On the Monday, he left his business card on my desk. It was signed by Pele and Banks – and Tutu, which I thought slightly ruined it. So my plan was to get the photograph of Banks saving Pele’s header at the 1970 World Cup, then get it framed and mounted with the card. I kept it on my bedside table in an envelope, but then my girlfriend tidied the flat and threw it away. I couldn’t believe it.
Tell us something about a player or manager that we won’t know?
Frank Clark’s a secret rock and roll star. He plays the guitar and has been in a few bands. He’s even played at the 100 Club in London. His stories are just incredible – it’s like he led a secret life.
Who’s your current favourite player?
Goalkeeper Brice Samba is incredible – phenomenal with his feet, and shows real balls when it comes to taking on strikers. He’s a big, strong goalkeeper, great on social media and very funny. Keepers are mad, but he is really mad.
Who from the football world would you like to see in politics?
Gareth Southgate – he really caught a mood at the last World Cup, where it wasn’t just about football. Football has always been a place where you have to forgive people for their personalities because they are good at sport, and I’ve never been fully comfortable with that idea – I prefer to have idols who are decent people rather than rogues. Southgate puts an emphasis on good behaviour and decency. I feel like this country needs some positive national role models like him.