Pascal Chimbonda talks canals

The former Wigan and Spurs man dispels some fiction – then talks up Robbie Keane’s equine charm

Hello Pascal. You once handed Wigan boss Paul Jewell a transfer request after a game, pulling a piece of paper out of one of your socks. What was your thinking? Did you shout “Ta- da!” as you produced it?

Hi! It wasn’t in my sock. This was said, but it wasn’t true – I had it in my bag and got it out for him. I wasn’t aware of how transfer requests really worked in England, and my agent said I had to write a letter to the manager. So I did, and gave it to him after the game. But I didn’t know that he’d then open it in front of the whole team and chairman. I thought he’d take it home!

Myth busted. Have you ever hidden anything in a sock? No, never. There’s nothing in my socks.

While out mountain walking, do you ever sing “What’s that coming over the hill, Pascal Chimbonda?” It would make a lovely surprise for someone on the other side...

I don’t, but maybe I should. I liked that chant at Spurs a lot, and the one they had for me at Wigan [ breaks into song]

“Do doooo… Pascal Chimbonda”. They were very funny.

When did you last come over a hill?

Just yesterday in Newcastle. There are some good hills in Newcastle – maybe next time I’m up one, I’ll sing the song.

What’s your favourite hill?

In preparation for the 2006 World Cup with France, the squad travelled to the mountains in Tignes. Walking up them would be my favourite. They’re huge.

OK, no more hill talk. Your name is an anagram of ‘ A ACCOMPLISH BAND’. Which band do you believe to be the most accomplished? I’m going to say The Beatles.

It’s hard to dispute.

The old bands were the best. Now I like hip- hop – stuff like Pop Smoke, Lil Baby,

Lil Wayne. When I was a kid, I listened to The Beatles.

You’re also an anagram of ‘ HAD CAB COMPLAINS’. Have you ever had any issues with a taxi driver?

Yes! I’ve had a few bad ones in a taxi. In Miami, I got a cab and the guy was driving me all over the place. He played dumb – that’s really annoying. Another time in Miami, I didn’t have any change so decided to be generous and give the driver a hundred dollar bill. I told him, “Keep the change”. When he drove off, I realised I’d left my phone in the back, so he got 100 bucks and a phone. I was on holiday and pissed off.

One more: ‘ CANAL COPS HIM BAD’. Have you ever had a bad time either in or on a canal?

Yes I have! When I was young, me and a mate would often walk into a canal. Sometimes we’d actually clean it, too. But one time, I trod on some glass and cut my feet badly. I needed treatment. Painful. If a mountain horse found its way onto Spurs’ pitch, which member of the 2007- 08 squad would you trust most to calm and bridle the animal, before leading it to safety?

I’ll say Robbie Keane – he’s a very calm guy. I think he could do it successfully. He’d be the first one to help the horse.

Keane also looks like a jockey, don’t you think? He has a jockey face. He doesn’t look like a jockey!

OK, let’s agree to disagree. As ‘ Chims Bond’, which 007 is your favourite? Roger Moore.

Nice choice. You’re from Guadeloupe – do you speak any Antillean Creole?

I do, but the words I’m thinking of are… bad. I’ll say something nicer like ‘ ki le li ye?’ That means ‘ What time is it?’

It’s 11.30! Can we end this interview by practising GCSE French? Sure.

Avez vous un chat? Non.

Avez vous un chien? Non.

Avez vous un ananas?

Non. I don’t have a pineapple...

Fair enough. Merci for the jabber!

Thanks!

“I GAVE A TAXI DRIVER ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS – THEN LEFT MY PHONE In HIS CAR!”