Question 2

Does it need to be a little more (or less) tidy?

Garden tidiness is, to my mind, overrated. But every now and then, particularly in the cooler months, I get an uncharacteristic buzz from seeing nice, straight, clean edges on lawns and paths, as well as regimented, crisp lines in hedges.

The rest of the time I’m happy for a degree of wantonness to rule, although I confess there’s rarely a time when half an hour of garden-grooming can’t usher forth a sigh of relief from family members and a sigh of satisfaction from me.

It’s curious (and perhaps a bit alarming, but there’s no denying it) that we are comforted and reassured by the presence of, say, a garden bench or a clearly clipped plant in an otherwise wildish setting. We want to know that nature is a force, but we want to know a human is there too.

The desired balance of the visibility of those two forces is different for each of us. You’d probably consider my ‘balance’ as a serious imbalance – most of my family does! But I’d possibly consider your tidiness as a bit uptight.

So it’s not about me pleasing you, or you pleasing me, but about each of us pleasing ourselves. When our garden’s no longer floating our boat, or leaves us in a state of dissatisfaction, it’s worth trying to work out why. Maybe you need to drag out the shears more often. Or maybe you need to put them away!