Reluctant audience to intimate show

NOW I’m all for young love and I’m no prude, but last week a line was crossed for me.

I was out with my friends just enjoying a few drinks before a gig. It was a casual venue, and people were sitting on ground near the stage or standing further behind.

Everyone had settled down and the set started. It was an acoustic guitarist so it was an intimate performance, but I don’t think anyone was prepared for what happened next.

Two youngsters walked in, I’d say barely 18 and proceeded to stand at the very front of the stage (in front of those sitting down) and hand in hand they stared goggly eyes at the poor musician.

Now that in itself is annoying. Everyone knows if you’re standing you stand behind those sitting. Simple gig etiquette, I’d say, but it went on from there.

They were less than a metre away from the guitarist and still standing when things started to escalate.

It went from to hands around the waist and then hands around the neck, and then hands just everywhere. The audience was shifting around uncomfortably, wondering how long were they going to keep this up? Ten minutes later they were still going and it was so distracting you could tell every second person was trying to catch their eye, willing them to give it a rest. But they would not be deterred. Fifteen minutes later they sat down. Hallelujah, everyone was thinking. My friends and I looked at each other as if to say, thank God now we can listen without distraction. Wrong. The young lady practically sat on his lap and they began to make out directly in the eye of the musician. I really expected someone from the venue to come over and ask them to stop but I think everyone was in a state of shock.

After the music stopped, they both went straight to the musician gushing at how wonderful he was, meanwhile everyone else in the audience was wondering how on earth had they even heard any of it.

All my friends at this gig were coupled up and there’s always the occasional hand hold or peck on the cheek, but after this gig everyone agreed there’s a line that cannot be crossed.

So to all those young couples out there, sitting in the front row of a gig — please go ahead and steal a moment with each other but make it brief!

People are there to hear the music, not watch your love affair.