Speaking like a Crow
GIVEN we no longer have State of Origin football it is important that we remember to uphold the once great tradition of potting our pals from across the border in South Australia.
And given that Adelaide is coming to Geelong for tonight’s Friday night footy, it’s important that we are able to understand their strange pronunciations so we don’t just nod our heads and stare blankly at them as we wonder what the hell they are talking about. Use this handy guide if you bump into a Croweater and everything should make sense.
MIUWLK: Comes from cows and is used to make “flavoured miuwlk” such as Big M in Victoria or that substandard equivalent known as Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee in SA. Having said that, it is acceptable as a Victorian to buy a FUIC (that’s a bit rude isn’t it) at Tailem Bend if you are driving back to Victoria, and are concerned the lack of scenery between there and Bordertown will cause you to fall asleep at the wheel and have an accident if you don’t get some caffeine.
SIUWLK: Sounds like miuwlk: “Did you see Eddie Betts kick that goal, he is pure siuwlk.’’
HIWL: Large vertical landmass similar to what Croweaters call the “big hiwl” (Mt Lofty) located southeast of Adelaide. Or, the home of Tex Walker, North Broken Hiwl.
NORD: Inner-city suburb and home to the Redlegs in the South Australian National Football League.
POOWL: Place to go swimming and safer than a dip in the Murray River at the South Australian end or as they also like to say, for some reason unknown to us, the River Murray.
BAINK: Where you go to get the money to escape and start a new, better life, outside of South Australia.
GR-AUNT: A different way of saying Grant, or something the government hands out for innovation, which is something South Australia isn’t known for.
BUDGET: We say Footy Record/AFL Record.
STOBIE POLE: Made of concrete and steel and used for the transfer of energy to homes and businesses or businesses soon to close in SA. Also known as a street ornament when the weekly blackout occurs.
RUNDLE MAWL: Like Geelong’s Malop St Mall, except it’s in Adelaide, has more people and activities (and feels much safer to be in actually), Rundle Mall is an extension of Hindley St which coincidentally is home to the . . .
CRAZY HORSE: A wild, unpredictable, four-legged animal, (or two-legged footballer), and also the name of a famous “gentleman’s club’’ in Adelaide famous for refusing entry to notso-famous people including Shannon Noll. Or as they say in Adelaide, Shannon Nowl. HEWLD: Past tense of hold. HOWLDEN: Maker of cars, soon to become just an importer of cars.
OWLBERTON OWVAL: Home of Port Adelaide Magpies in the SANFL, a team that has won many more premierships than the redlegs from Nord.