Dishing up fine fare
BETWEEN James Hird ($20,000 in 2004), Brad Scott ($30,000, 2016) and Alistair Clarkson $20,000, 2017), the AFL has made it very clear that there is no room for questioning the performance of umpires because social media already has that market covered very well indeed, especially if you have an interest in the team that lost to Gold Coast on Saturday or Melbourne on Monday or know at least one person who did.
I don’t blame the umpires, they just lack consistency and criticalthinking on some split-second performances sometimes, which most of us have been guilty of, just not in front of 70,000 people.
Anyway the real issue here is what should be done with Clarko’s cash (even though $15k has been suspended) and $5k will admirably be donated to Motor Neurone Disease research.
Should any other AFL coaches be hit in the hip pocket in the coming months and years the Payneful Truth proposes the following initiatives where the fines could be put for the greatest benefit, including: SUBSIDISING LEMONADE AT ETIHAD STADIUM: $70,000 would allow more than 10,000 children to have a free bottle of lemonade as a one-off exercise, or more than 25,000 children (or adults) to have a lemonade at the footy for under $2.50. This would be a great initiative to win over the hearts and minds of working families who go to the football but may have too much time to practise their long division regarding lemonade prices while being stuck on a train at Deer Park West junction from Geelong while they wait for an opposing one to clear the Ballarat line because the money for the flyover went into road projects instead. BASIC MEDICAL TRAINING FOR SOME AFL TV COMMENTATORS WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS: They know who they are. Soon after diagnosing a player with a career-ending anterior cruciate ligament injury or impending legamputation from the comfort of the commentary box, we next see the player leap to his feet, ask for a Band-Aid and a drink of water before they play on to gather 30possessions. If you don’t know what’s happened, it’s OK to say you “don’t know’’ and maybe wait for someone such as, say, a DOCTOR to make an assessment and relay it back for the benefit of those viewing who might have an interest in the outcome. AND FINALLY: (This has nothing to do with footy but I’m short of ideas this week) They could donate the money to schools and universities to educate people so when they grow up and find themselves in a workplace, they are capable of washing and drying and replacing a bloody teaspoon in a drawer, which would be a big step forward for world peace.