Ham fisted Harry

THERE are lots of very important but depressing issues in the world.

And it is important that we don’t shy away from them, that we debate them robustly and that we seek solutions to make life better for all.

But we would like to take a break from that for a day and use this space to consider a lighter, less important issue that has nonetheless captivated the minds of many in our fair city.

And that is this: Just what the hell was going on with Harry Taylor’s “hamshake”.

If you’ve missed the bizarre story so far, the following is what happened.

At the end of Friday’s clash between the Cats and the Crows, Geelong champ Taylor shook rival Josh Jenkins’ hand.

The rest is best left in Jenkins’ own words:

“He shook my hands and when we separated there was ham in my hand — probably 25 grams worth from the deli. I don’t think it was smoked. I wasn’t getting too close to it . . . I was going to throw up.”

Naturally that prompts the reaction: What was that about?

Well no one from Harry to the Cats has so far been willing to say a word about the incident to enlighten us. It has been — as one Addy sports wag put it — “The Silence of the Hams”.

It seems likely Harry was doing a bit of a gag on the fact Jenkins had recently suffered a bout of food poisoning after eating bad ham.

Jenkins said: “I’m not mates with him. I barely know him. I’ve never even really had a conversation with him. He’s a different cat.”

Anyone who hears the Harry’s ham escapade story inevitably has the same perfectly reasonable follow-up question: Where did he get the ham from?

And that’s where this story becomes really curious.

Sure we can chalk the actual hamshake down to Harry having a unique, surreal sense of humour.

But what about the minutes and possibly hours preceding the hamshake?

Did Harry have the offending slice in his sock or his shorts the whole game?

That would be a different level of commitment altogether.

For the moment the mystery of the hamshake remains unsolved.

But the AFL encyclical for umpires on the proper and improper uses of smallgoods on the field can’t be far away.