Feel free to ignore the ideal
SALVADOR Dali once said we should “have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it”.
When I was growing up, this quote was understood in the context of what was portrayed on TV.
No one actually thought Mr and Mrs Brady and their bunch were real.
The fact they portrayed a perfect household, which was never messy or cluttered despite having six children living in it, was understood to be a portrayal of perfection, but far from reality.
Back then, we knew TV was magic and within its bounds, perfection was possible. Perfect hair, perfect figure, perfect house, perfect garden, perfect dog and perfect yard, for example. People on TV were paid actors portraying a perfect but fictional world where we could escape to but not live in, as it wasn’t reality.
It got me wondering, is there something wrong with reality? Surely there is happiness in the imperfection and comedy in the chaos? Anyone who lives with small children knows perfection is impossible, while the constant mess and laughter and silliness is delightful. Who would want perfection when the experience of reality is so full of joy?
The advent of reality TV has blurred the lines between perfection and reality. We are confused about what we’re seeing when the people we watch on screen are real people, living real lives and they’re not professional actors. Are their lives, as shown on the screen real? Are we escaping with them into a fictional world, or is the world we are escaping to actually their reality?
I suspect most reality TV is as real as any fictional drama with paid actors. Perfection is portrayed and projected but it is not necessarily the reality.
I am not a housewife who lives harbourside in Sydney, or behind large ornate gates in Toorak, but neither have I ever seen any woman out to lunch anywhere in an evening gown. And if one has passed me by, I can assure you that I have never seen a gaggle of them dining casually together in the summer sun by the water!
This plethora of perfectly tanned and wealthy women in bedazzled evening gowns at noon is as far from reality, I suspect, even for them as Mr and Mrs Brady and their bunch of six living in a mess-free home in perfect harmony.
Social media enables users to share their lives with friends, family or even the world at large. People can upload photos of themselves and their lives and share their lives in pictures and text.
This world was started by Facemash in 2003 when Mark Zuckerberg, with his Harvard roommates, set up a website to allow students to be paired against other students, and for the students to be declared hot or not. That world has exploded since that moment.
Friends post baby photos and holiday snaps to a closed group of friends and use social media to keep us up to date with their reality. Their posts are simple, genuine and often hilarious.
The medium is used to share the reality of life, its triumphs, flaws, victories and defeats.
But what is also found increasingly in this world is the curated display of perfection as reality. Seemingly perfect babies being dressed and redressed in perfect outfits by their perfect parents. There is not a tantrum or a snotty nose or grazed knee in sight.
There’s also perfectly styled children’s bedrooms absent thousands of pieces of Lego on the floor. In the teenagers’ bedrooms you cannot only see the surface of the floor, but the wardrobe drawers are pushed in and the clothes beautifully folded.
Backyards are usually without flat footies hiding in the shrubbery and Instagram pages of the family dog show white teeth and perfect fur in designer winter jackets, without a chewed shoe in sight.
Dali said we shouldn’t fear perfection as we can’t achieve it, it is not real. I think he missed the point. Reality with all its mess, its clutter and its bad hair days is perfect, just as it is. Rachel Schutze is a Principal of Maurice Blackburn, wife and mother of three. (Ed’s note: Ms Schutze is married to Corio MP Richard Marles.)